Figuring out what you want

We often get caught up in expectations of the way things should be. But in many cases we’re simply taking on the expectations of others.

When you’re surrounded by people living a certain type of way, you’re less likely to trust a path that leads to a different life. The reason for this is nobody wants to be separate or other.

You might even convince yourself that what you want is no more than a daydream. Furthermore, when others don’t see the vison for the path you’re carving out you’re likely to encounter backlash.

The backlash can be so challenging that you might end up thinking that it’s easier to push your wants aside. Nobody wants to be criticised for being themselves.

We often measure up how well we are doing in life against societies expectations of what we should be doing at certain points of life. However, these expectations leave very little room to experiment and wonder which are the very things you need to do in order to figure out what you want.

Knowing when to break the rules

There’s a well known phrase that says ‘Rules were made to be broken’.

In many cases I don’t agree, rules are put in place to create boundaries, keep us safe and so on.

But in some cases rules can cause us more harm than good, disadvantage the minority and are for the benefit of things we don’t support.

In those cases when it doesn’t feel right to comply, breaking the rules might be the right thing to do.

Rest, reset and refresh

If you go through a period of stress or anxiety, something that can work wonders is taking a break.

It might seem counter productive and you might feel like the better thing to do is pull yourself deeper into what ever has gotten you off balance.

But further exposing yourself to thing that isn’t making you feel good is probably not going to make you feel any better.

What you might need is to take a break.

In this day and age, in our go, go, go society it can be challenging to really take a break from your day to day life.

And so I think it’s important to figure out what helps you rest, reset and refresh your mind.

It could be a walk in nature where you’re away from buildings and cars but surrounded by greenery and wild flowers.

It could be a massage, something that forces you have to stay still and you have to put your phone away.

And once you’re done you’ll know that it worked when you can go back to thing that had you feeling stressed but you now feel calm and at peace.

In an ideal world

That’s a phrase often used when you’re in a defeated mindset. It is often followed by something that we don’t think is possible.

e.g. In an ideal world we would be able to overcome these injustices.

If in an ideal world us as society, as humanity would be able to overcome the injustices then why can’t it happen.

It’ll take much more than a day or 2 but if you cared enough to think it or to say it, then maybe it’s worth trying.

We as people make the world what it is collectivley, it’s not so seperate from us that we have no impact.

As The Drifters song goes ‘you just have to wish to make it so’. It takes much more than a wish alone but it doesn’t mean that, that’s not where change can begin.

Difficult to solve

Some things in life are difficult to solve.

There are lots of factors to consider, plus you have to find something that works for people that don’t think the same way.

What works for one won’t necessarily for everyone else. The great idea you had might not work.

And that is not just my opinion but instead some thoughts relating to some of the challenges we face as a society.

The solution isn’t to try and please everyone. I think the solution would be to do what feels right and focus on how you can make a positive impact.

Boosting morale and feeling connected

Through challenging times it’s always helpful to find ways of boosting morale.

A common way of doing this is through bringing people together.

Very little compares to the feeling of people being united for a common cause. When that cause is gratitude, it really can help people feel connected to each other.

Right now a lot of people are becoming aware of the contributions that particular people make in society.

Despite everything that is going on there is this sense of ‘things aren’t particularly great right now but there are people showing up everyday that are helping to make things a little bit better or easier and I’m grateful for it‘.

I think just knowing that there are people showing up even though it’s difficult is enough to make us all feel a little bit better.

Changing the rules

In day to day life you might be surprised at how many rules you follow. Things that you are or aren’t supposed to do or say?

Some of them are necessary and help us function well as a society whilst others just restrict us. Some are inflicted by others but some we force upon ourselves.

You make up unhelpful rules that get you off the hook because you cant, you’re not allowed, people don’t do that.

But maybe if something isn’t working out you could take control.

Make the decision to change rules and do something differently.

More connected than ever

If you want to reach me you can call, text, WhatsApp, dm on Twitter or Instagram and even catch me on FB messenger.

We’re more connected than ever with regard to the countless channels that are available. So how ironic is it that it seems like as a society we’re more alone than ever.

I think it’s something to do with technology being used to replace actually having face to face conversations. As much as technology can imitate and replicate person to person interaction as Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell once sang ‘ain’t nothing like the real thing baby’.

You can go on Twitter and see people interacting all day long but then they’ll tweet about feeling lonely.

I think online connections are great as a supplement but not a replacement. Perhaps we actually need the eye contact, the sound of someone’s voice, the pauses between speech and the sight of another living being.

1000 and something days ago

Can you remember where you were at in life 3 years ago?

Did you have a job?

Where did you work?

Were you happy?

How were you spending your free time?

Where did you live?

What were you reading?

What were your life goals?

Who were your friends?

Who were you dating?

A lot can change in 1000 and something days and in a ‘go, go, go!’ society it can be easy to overlook just how far you’ve come.

Maybe you went from working part-time in a cafe, pretty happy with life, reading sci-fi and dating a dreamy guy who took you on picnics and twirled you to beautiful music.

But now you work full-time in HR, you’re not particularly happy, you have live in an expensive apartment in the city and don’t make time to read anymore.

And 3 years from now, things could be better, worse or maybe just different