Worth the effort

I recently tried something different and it didn’t go to plan. For a short moment I felt annoyed that I’d wasted my efforts but then I caught myself.

Was it not worth the effort to try?

Instead of getting carried away with an unhelpful story, I could choose to look at things differently. So, I acknowledged the effort I’d made and reminded myself that I’d get better with practice.

And that’s it.

It may seems simple and insignificant but, how often have you allowed one thing not working out as intended to bring down your mood for the hours that follow.

Sometimes, I remind myself of something Seth Godin has said many times that’s along the lines of, it’s not fatal, you can try again tomorrow.

And if you aren’t willing to try again, then perhaps you’ve succumbed to your fears or what you were working on isn’t worth the effort.

Rational decision makers

When I first heard the term ‘sunk costs’ I had no idea what it meant. However, I heard it from Seth Godin so I payed attention and came to find that it referred to money that had already been spent (which you can’t get back) that should not be considered in future decision making.

This idea can be applied to more than just money, it can also be applied to time although they say time is money so it all really just boils down to the same thing.

The idea of sunk costs is so useful because often we make decisions based on the past whereas sunk costs advises us to put that aside and make choices based on the present. I think it helps us to become more rational decision makers instead of relying on how things of the past have made us feel.

Paid work and free work

I think it was on an episode of Seth Godins Podcast, Akimbo, that he spoke about deciding what you want to get paid for and what you’ll do for free.

It isn’t something I’ve heard spoken about often but I think it’s quite important.

These days most of us put stuff out for free whether it’s through blogging, a podcast, YouTube, Instagram etc.

But if you’re constantly creating on multiple platforms it might feel difficult to identify what you want to be paid for. It could be that you’re blog posts are free and you decide to put your podcast out on a site like Patreon.

If we look at it in terms of doing work for a company or organisation (not your listeners/readers directly), I’ve heard speakers say they’ll speak for free in schools or for charities but everything else is paid work.

I think Seth mentioned his blog and podcast are his free work but that he never speaks for free.

I think it’s important to establish early on what you want to be paid for, that way you’re less likely to be persuaded to work for free.

What do you want to be known for?

When Seth Godin answered this question he said ‘ I would like to be known by what the people who have learned from me have taught other people’.

I think this was said on an episode of Tim Bilyeus’ podcast, Impact Theory.

If you’re somebody that creates or puts stuff out there, I think it’s an important question to have regularly running through your mind.

Your answer will serve as a compass to help guide your decisions.

I often ponder on that question in relation to this blog and my answer is always about adding value and sharing something useful. And so I’m so I’m less likely to write about personal details in the day to day life because it doesn’t align with my answer.

Perhaps, it isn’t something you’ve considered much and maybe right now you can’t sum it up in 18 words. But it is definitely something worth thinking about.

Meeting expectations

Not those of others but your own.

I think a lot of people have expectations for what they want out of life. And despite the popular phrase that goes something like ‘If you’re dreams don’t scare you they’re not big enough’, high expectations can be overwhelming.

But something that I’ve learnt is that you have to be committed and pace yourself. If you truly want to achieve something it shouldn’t be conditional, you should be dedicated to it.

I’ve also found it useful to check in and like to refer back to something Seth Godin once said about how you’re either talking to the wring people or you’re not making good enough stuff.

And I’m at a point where I can see that just because I’m trying hard doesn’t mean what I’m producing is good enough for the outcome that I want.

When that happens I take a step back and re-group. I think about what I’m doing that is good and how I can make it better.

My expectations of myself are quite frankly ridiculous which is why I find them overwhelming. Plus, I often make the mistake of focusing too much on the end goal instead of simply just doing the work.

I don’t have a roundup or a takeaway as I’m still learning how to manage the expectations I have of myself.

However, what I will share is that if you find yourself getting overwhelmed or frustrated you probably need to change what you’re doing or the way you’re thinking.

The art of the gift

Currently reading linchpin by Seth Godin and learning a whole lot.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the art of gift giving lately. Not in terms of a birthday or Christmas gifts but in daily life.

The small or grand acts of generosity like saying good morning with a genuine smile or offering to help someone without expecting anything in return.

Those acts of generosity brighten people’s day, make them feel seen and are often easy to do.

I’m certain that you would have been on the receiving end of an act of generosity at some point in your life or maybe you’re the giver.

Despite these acts often being easy to do, how many times have you missed or overlooked the opportunity to give.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own worlds and our stuff that we can’t even see the opportunity we have to make an offering in the world.

But when you do stop and choose to give not out of obligation or expectation but just because, that right there is the art of the gift.

A writers influences

Whatever is going on in my life will be woven through the words I write.

At times, I’m like a floatie being pulled and swayed in all kinds of directions. But I’m easily influenced and inspired.

From the ages of 16-18 I studied textiles, discovered Seth Godin and read a few books by Dickens.

That trio of things heavily influenced my writing at the time through the language in used. I can see it now but I was also aware of it at the time.

And as time has passed new things have influenced the way I write things like music, nature, relationships etc.

I still have my core style but my choice of words and what I want them to evoke has developed and grown with along with me.

For this blog my writing is heavily inspired by my themes of overcoming fear, self exploration, dream life etc

But I’m also still influenced by Seth Godin after all these years (I’m now in my twenties). I’m also influenced by things that move me emotionally, I’m a feelings person, who has kept a journal for more than a decade so it’s a big part of who I am. I can’t help but let that part of me pour out when I write.

I’d like to think that my influences and inspirations come through but it’s not down to me if they show or not.

That’s for you to decide.

Regrets of an aspiring linchpin

Can you guess what book I’ve been reading?

Over a year ago (on my other blog, wordsbygemm) I wrote a post about my job.
Looking back, knowing what I now know I kind of regret my words.

Here’s what I wrote: Maybe, it’s strange that I sort of like being a cog in a machine, doing my bit to support the bigger picture.

I didn’t know it at the time but I’d fallen into a fear based trap. I basically wanted a factory job that presented itself as something else because it was in an office and I was at a computer instead of a machine.

I’d go to work sit at my desk, check emails, read documents, chat with colleagues, write letters and occasionally make phone calls. That was all I did on a loop pretty much in any random order depending on the day.

But I’ve since seen the light, I suppose. Firstly my level of contentment with how I was showing up at work wasn’t what I thought it would be. I found myself wanting to more.

And so thanks to me choosing to read Seth Godins book linchpin, I’m understanding how I can be better at what I do.

I want to show up at work and add value not just follow instructions, anyone can do that.

A 17 year old walks into a bookshop in Wales…

That’s how the story of how I discovered the person who would become one of my biggest life inspirations begins. This person would go on to help influence the words I wrote, the person I’ve become and the things that I chose to do.

At 17 I liked to think that I was someone who didn’t fall for marketing ploys. I liked to think that I was a girl unswayed by the things that surrounded me.

Mostly because marketing sometimes seemed like you were being tricked into wanting or buying things by people who wanted your money, like a sort of elaborate scam.

I wanted to believe that I was above that sort of thing but I can now admit that the perception I held of myself wasn’t true.

I was wrong.

Wrong because I felt myself pulled to pick up a book called ‘Free Prize Inside’. Turns out there was no actual free prize inside the book but it did change my life which is even better.

Dancing with fear

I could probably write a book on things I’ve learnt from Seth Godin.

Seth taught me that maybe this fear is something I can work with instead of work for. As in, I can do everything I want to do and still have fear, instead letting the fear dictate what I do (which always ends up with me not doing what I actually want to do).

Learning to dance with fear is often uncomfortable (because it’s new) but it’s taught me valuable lessons about moving through life.

The best place to start is somewhere small because it’s like a form of immersion therapy. Imagine if you’re learning to swim, diving in at the deep end with no arm bands is probably a silly idea. You might end up panicking, swallowing water and needing to be rescued.

If that happens you’re unlikely to dust yourself off and try again. You almost died, it’s too dangerous, how could you even think it was a good idea. And your body will do it’s thing in letting you know it was dangerous and that you need to protect yourself. At that point even the shallow end will seem too risky.

But if you start at the shallow end and do the smallest uncomfortable thing that doesn’t feel too risky you might be willing to do something slightly bigger bit by bit overtime.

And then eventually diving in at the deep end won’t seem so risky. Because you’ve done everything else before that and it’s turned out okay. You’ll be at a point where you know what to do if you feel overwhelmed and even if you need a little help or support it you won’t feel like a failure.

Then once you’re out the deep end you’ll be okay to go back in again.

Turns out it wasn’t so scary after all.