When it comes to making things happen, we sometimes underestimate the power of letting things go.
We have to make room in our lives for the things we want instead of holding on to the things we no longer need for the sake of nostalgia or fear of change. Sometimes, we feel like letting go means we don’t value things. Other times, we convince ourselves that holding on to the memories will not be enough.
You might even be holding on to the fear that if you let go of something you’ll end up wanting it back or that nothing else good will come into your life.
But letting go is powerful.
It shows that you’re not willing to keep what you don’t need, that you believe better is possible and that you’re open.
On the flipside, holding on to things that you no longer need shows the total opposite.
Letting go can be scary, terrifying in fact. But, once you start doing it and especially if you start with something big, it gets a lot easier.
This happens because you realise that you’re completely fine without the thing you thought you needed.
However, when you’re caught up in the moment going back and forth over whether not not to let something go. it’s difficult. Sometimes no amount of reassurance and advice is enough to make you believe that things will turn out okay.
Perhaps, you believed that your whole world would implode, that you’d be miserable or that nothing good better could come into your life. And maybe you do feel that way for a little while after but then things will start to change. Eventually you’ll find yourself pretty happy with your decision, a weight will have been lifted off your shoulders and maybe you’ll even wish you’d made the choice to let go sooner.
It might feel easier to hold on but maybe what you really need to do is let go.
Taking space is a powerful thing. When you spend time away from something you have developed an attachment to it gives you room to find clarity and to come back to yourself. So often you may find ourselves getting caught up in other people and trying to please or appease them that you forget yourself and your own values or ideas.
And sometimes when you’re not ready to let go you convince yourself that there is something for us in the attachment, something that we need. But even if it is true that the attachment offers us something it can’t possibly be placed above that which we can offer ourselves.
So go forth and take space, then when you’re ready you can return and figure out how you really feel without attachment cloud your judgement.
A major contributing factor to moving forward in life is being able to let things go.
It could be physical possessions, people or memories and experiences.
An easy example is if you tried something and it didn’t work out. If you can’t let go of the thing that didn’t work you may find that it underlies future situations when you try something new.
Suddenly you’ve become someone that believes that nothing will work out for you, you become closed off to new things and remain stagnant.
That may seem extreme but that’s the reality of life. You won’t realise how much that one situation affected you until you’re randomly pondering life one Sunday afternoon.
I don’t think there’s one specific way to let go, what works for one may not work for another so it’s important to figure it out for yourself.
This used to be one of my worst habits.
I’d do this thing where I’d place a lot of expectations on people that left no room for humanness and left me feeling disappointed.
Once I realised that I did this I started making a conscious effort to stop. I’ve learnt how to catch myself in the act and it is such a blessing. It means I’m much less bothered by what people do.
Letting go of expectation has made some relationships a lot easier. It has also helped me clarify that in some cases I’m more invested than the other person and that we should probably just part ways.
It’s also about balance. For example, expecting a friend to make time to see you is realistic but if you’re always expecting your friend to be free and getting upset or annoyed when they’re busy, you might want to reassess your expectations.
What do you do when you wake up one morning and realise that the life you wanted is no longer something you want to pursue?
How do you let go of an old dream?
I’m still figuring out the answers to these questions so let me know if you have any insight. What I’ve discovered so far though is that it’s okay to change your mind and ten years spent on a path you no longer what to pursue isn’t wasted time. Especially if it gave you the chance to learn, develop and realise that you want something else.
Life is all about contrast and sometimes we have to experience something that we don’t want to figure out what we do want.
Too often we think that changing our minds about what we want means starting over when in reality you never go back to the start line you just continue to develop.
Perhaps, the challenge in letting go of the old is in knowing that you’ll have to re-envision your life plans and commit to something new which is both scary and exciting but more often than not worth it.