When thank you isn’t enough

Sometimes people have no idea of the role they’ve played in our lives but maybe that’s how it was meant to be.

I hold the belief that you meet people for specific reasons. Often people come into our lives to serve as reminders of things that we’ve forgotten.

And when you eventually remember you are so thankful to these people even if you aren’t aware of the purpose they came into your life to serve.

You’re thankful because they cared, extended kindness, listened to you, supported you, helped you grow into yourself etc.

Yet, thank you isn’t quite enough and you might end up trying to find some way that you can repay this person that has helped transform you (and therefore your whole life) but it probably won’t be possible.

And that right there is the gem, sometimes a persons kindness and generosity isn’t given to be returned, it’s given because that person has chosen to give it. You’re not indebted to them or obligated to return anything.

Yes, show gratitude but also to do something with what you’ve been given. Maybe that kindness/generosity was to encourage you to try new things, get you out of your shell, remind you that it’s okay to be yourself and so on.

The feeling can get quite overwhelming (in a good way) but it’s worth remembering that in these particular special occasions it’s not about the giver, it’s about what you do with what you’ve been given.

The art of the gift

Currently reading linchpin by Seth Godin and learning a whole lot.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the art of gift giving lately. Not in terms of a birthday or Christmas gifts but in daily life.

The small or grand acts of generosity like saying good morning with a genuine smile or offering to help someone without expecting anything in return.

Those acts of generosity brighten people’s day, make them feel seen and are often easy to do.

I’m certain that you would have been on the receiving end of an act of generosity at some point in your life or maybe you’re the giver.

Despite these acts often being easy to do, how many times have you missed or overlooked the opportunity to give.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own worlds and our stuff that we can’t even see the opportunity we have to make an offering in the world.

But when you do stop and choose to give not out of obligation or expectation but just because, that right there is the art of the gift.

Generous projection

When we give to others generously and it isn’t received in the way we expected or would have preferred the first instinct might be to find fault in the receiver.

But often what is actually happening is we’re projecting. In many cases we give to others what we wish we had or could receive rather than assessing this persons needs as an individual.

Perhaps it’s in the form of constantly checking in or offering advice because you wished someone had checked in with you and gave you guidance.

But then the receiver might reject all the advice you give and not open up when you check in which could leave you frustrated.

You’ll find yourself wondering why this person isn’t grateful for your generosity, after all you didn’t have anyone do this for you.

It’s at that point that you might want to reflect on why this person might be responding the way they do.

If you really want to help someone ask them what they need rather than just putting yourself in there position.

There’s a thing in NLP about how we do things based on our own experience but when you offer to help someone else, it shouldn’t be about you.