Sometimes we stop ourselves from doing the things that we want to do because we put others above ourselves.
We choose to consider how our actions might make someone else feel, as if that is our responsibility. It often results in not doing the things that we want to do.
In the moment, it might feel like the right choice but in the long run it often leads to regret or resentment.
It could be staying in a ‘good job’ when you actually want to pursue something that is held in a much lower regard by the people you know, maybe it pays less too. You’re worried that people will tell you you’re making a mistake, of the looks you’ll get at the family dinner when they ask how work is going, you want to please your parents and you don’t want other people to think that you’ve regressed.
So, you stick with your current job that you’re no longer interested in.
Overtime you grown to resent those people around you because even though they’re happy with where you’re at in life, you’re miserable. It feels like it’s their fault. But, deep down you know that your misery comes from you caring about other peoples opinions more than you care about making yourself happy.
The lesson here is to learn to put yourself first. How you feel about your life and the choices you make matters so much more than what other people think.
Storytelling is a powerful thing.
Not everything gets written down or photographed but stories can always be passed down as long as someone is happy to speak and someone is willing to listen.
For many storytelling perhaps conjures up images of childhood sitting cross legged on the floor as the teacher reads you story or your parents making up a bedtime story where you’re the main character and you save the day.
But there is so much power in the stories we tell about life. It’s how people passed on information, it’s a way of bringing people together and when you tell stories of the past it helps people imagine the way things once her.
My grandparents tell me stories of their lives and my parents too and it’s fascinating. Hearing the stories of people you know is probably the most realistic glimpse into the past you can possibly get.
My focus here is on non-fiction, things that actually happened because that’s the stuff worth remembering.
Through this blog you may have read the phrase ‘talking helps’ at least once or twice.
I’m an advocate for talking because it is something that has changed my life and I think it’s something that at time is overlooked.
As much as I can advocate for people to talk more, the truth is not everyone has someone they can talk to.
Perhaps you don’t have any friends, you’re scared to open up to a family member, you can’t afford a therapist/counselling or you’re on a GP waiting list that could take over 6 months.
Talking might not solve the issue but being able to get things off your chest can work wonders for your well-being.
There’s a free service called Samaritans that you can use to call, email, write a letter or even visit in person to talk face to face. They’re available in various countries around the world including America, UK and Australia
Samaritans is a registered charity aimed at providing emotional support to anyone in emotional distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide…
You don’t have to wait until you’re on the edge and life is getting to be too much, in fact you shouldn’t. Personally over the past year in particular I’ve found that talking about things more in general stops things becoming so overwhelming.
I think it’s lovely that these kinds of free services exist and I wanted to share it with you because it might be helpful for you or to pass on to someone you know.
People often complain about their life circumstances and how if only they weren’t working class, their parents were born in the western world, they grew up in a better area etc.
In some ways they envy the opportunities that more ‘privileged’ people have had in life. They may think it’s not fair that others have had the upper hand from the moment they were born where as they’ve had to ‘try and try , try and try’ (from the song You can get it if you really want by Jimmy Cliff).
But the thing is as much as they may think and feel this way, it’s also what they aspire to. To raise families more well off than they were. To have the money to live somewhere bigger and safer. To be a able to give the people around them opportunities because they’re well connected.
Essentially they aspire to become the people that are ahead of the majority, more privileged and people with the upper hand.
It’s hard to make comparisons about who has it harder but that’s not something worth competing over. I think we can all agree we’d like to have things better than they were or currently are.
And who knows down the line your family could be the privileged ones with countless opportunities compared to others.
But from someone else’s perspective, you might be considered pretty privileged right now.