A seemingly simple four word question that is often almost impossible to answer.
Even when you know what you want you’re likely to find yourself making excuses for why it’s not possible for you or how it’s just a daydream.
But also I think it’s difficult to admit what you truly want when you know that you haven’t even tried to make it happen. If your wants don’t align with what you currently do or are currently working towards it highlights where you’ve fallen short.
Nobody wants to be reminded that they’re not where they want to be in life especially when you’re not even working towards what you want.
And so the lesson is to keep checking in with what you want in life. Once you have that figured out all you have to do is start bridging the gap.
Nobody is living their life exactly as they would like right now. But in this space of uncertainty, limited in person interaction and staying inside you’ll get a pretty good idea of how you want to live your life.
Ask yourself: What do I miss?
What do I want to do with my day?
And give yourself time to daydream.
Lie down maybe even sit outside in the sun if possible and just daydream. Daydream about your job, how do you earn a living, what is your working life like.
Daydream about how you spend your free time, the people in your life, how you dress and any other bit of your life that’s on your mind.
Then come back to your reality and think about how different the daydream is to your current life.
It’s not bad if they greatly differ but it might serve as a reminder that you’re not living the life you truly want.
Do you ever spend time daydreaming about the life you want. The things you’ll do, places you’ll go, where you’ll live and how you’ll earn a living?
What do you do once the daydream is over?
It’s so easy to think that the life you daydream about is far from reach but in reality a good chunk of that distance will disappear once you start believing your dream life is possible.
That belief will come from realising that it’s possible to live the kind of life you want. You don’t have to settle as a result of the expectations of others or because the gap between where you are and where you want to be is too wide.
Once you start believing it’s possible you can move onto the next step, making it happen.
This time inside is no doubt forcing you to step away from somethings you’d rather run towards.
But there’s probably a few things you have space from right now that you don’t want back in your life.
It could be a job, people you spend time with or the places you used to go.
Being forced to stay inside gives your mind the space it so often needs to really think about what it wants, what you want. You’re no longer in this routine of always going from one place to the next, rarely alone, rarely getting the chance for silence or a moment to think how you feel about the way you’re living your life.
But now you have that chance, what are you thinking about, what is on your mind?
Are you craving a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon at your favourite bar with a lover or friend?
Are you secretly hoping that you never have to go to go back to your current job?
Are you realising that you don’t miss the people you’d normally spend the most time with (outside of work)?
Once you’ve given that some thought, what will you do about it now and once lockdown is over?
What happened to those dreams off yours, those dreams you had to make, see and do?
When did you forget about the plans you made and what exactly are you doing now?
Everybody has a dream.
Whether it’s something you once worked towards and gave up on or merely that thing you think about as a form of escapism from your reality.
But sometimes we allow our circumstances to crush our dreams and suddenly we’ve forgotten all about what we really wanted. A dream is so much more more than a dream, it motivates us, guides us through daily life and gives us purpose.
Think of your forgotten dream as a neglected plant, now might be the perfect time to tend to it.
Dreamers have high aspirations but the gap between where they are and where they want to be is vast.
Dreamers aren’t always good at bridging the gap because of the qualities they hold.
They’re ideas people but when it comes to getting things done they often fall short.
Think about what it’s like to dream. Your mind is full of vivid pictures and voices that feel real yet they aren’t actualized in common reality.
In order to make things happen to the highest potential, dreamers must also be doers (the kinds of people that get things done). If doing doesn’t come naturally to you it’ll be a useful thing to learn.
I don’t know was one of my most used phrases during my school days.
It was an easy 3 words to use in situations where I didn’t want to participate, like class.
I’d sit daydreaming, ruminating or just quietly paying attention. Then all of a sudden a teacher would call on me for the answer to a question.
Perhaps I hadn’t heard it or maybe I didn’t want to think or join in because after all my hand wasn’t even up.
So, I’d almost immediately respond with I don’t know even if after some thought I might have had an answer to contribute.
I never wanted to offeranything because on the occasions that I did, my hand would be up.
And so when I used to say I don’t know it just meant that I didn’t want to offer, join in or engage.
This phase of my life was around 10 years ago at a time where I found it incredibly difficult to use my voice.
These days I’m more commonly heard saying I’m not sure and I’m much more willing to contribute something and be wrong instead of saying nothing at all.
If you find yourself using I don’t know as a regular response ask yourself why because you might find that it could actually be replaced with the phrases ‘I don’t want to think’.
And if you don’t want to think then you might be a lazy person or you might be scared of being wrong.
Either way there’s something to work.
How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.
I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer.
I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.
I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.
And it can be something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.
It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.
It always feels good to start projects and make plans (at least it does for me anyway).
But what’s the use in making plans if you don’t follow through.
That really good idea you have could actually be something in the physical reality if you’re willing to bring it to life.
To want and do nothing is of no real use.
It creates a cycle of excitement at the possibility and disappointment at the outcome of nothingness.
Everyone has plans whether its passing thoughts or things you dedicate your daydreams to but if you really want the plan to become part of your reality then you kinda have to do something about it.
Everybody is going through something, you’re not alone.
It’s like that Pfunk song goes ‘I’ve got a thing, you’ve got a thing, everybody’s got a thing,
And so if each one of us has a thing that we’re dealing with alongside living our lives then we shouldn’t use that as an excuse.
It is so easy to use your life circumstances as the reasons why you can’t do the things you daydream about. You might find yourself saying or thinking:
If it wasn’t for…
I know it can get difficult (I’ve got a thing too, remember) but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t even try.