People that think they’re outsiders act like outsiders.
The idea of being an outsider is often a self-fulfilling prophecy, something that is brought into existence rather than being totally true in the first place.
When the thought comes into your mind, as soon as you hold onto it and allow it to become a part of how you identify yourself you’ll subconsciously work to make it true.
Being an outsider is associated with being fringe, being different but sometimes even unique or original.
It can have both positive and negative connotations.
As soon as you start to think you’re different and ‘not like them’. You’ll start to separate yourself, exclude yourself even. Often that is what makes a person become an outsider.
The reality is, groups of people come together that are very different all the time.
When taking a risk pays off, it’s easy to get caught up in the fact that things turned out the way you wanted.
But I think it’s important to also focus on the reason behind taking the risk in the first place.
You did it because you believed it was worth it, you knew it would get you a step closer to where you want to be, you wanted to push yourself and try something new or you had the confidence that it would work out.
Sometimes the reason behind the risk is more important than the outcome.
When was the last time you checked in with your dream life.
As in checked to see if you’re moving any closer to the things you want or say you want from life.
More importantly, do you know what you need to do in order to get there?
It could be learning a skill, saving money or building your confidence.
If you’re not making the effort to do what needs to be done then you can’t be disappointed when things don’t magically falling into place.
Something that I believe to be a dream life misconception is that things will happen by themselves. As though you’ll be going about your usual routine and someone will appear ready to change your life. Sure that’s what happened to Cinderella but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen to you too.
Do you remember when you were your most confident self?
Common advice in challenging situations when we’re afraid is to ask ‘what would [insert name of inspirational person] do?’
I think that’s a really helpful tool but it can also just emphasise the gap between where you’re at and where you want to be instead of bridging it.
So, what if you consult your past self at peak confidence instead. If you were confidence once you can be confident again.
When you find yourself facing a challenge think of a time you were confident or did something difficult in the past. Close your eyes, visualise it, feel that feeling and keep it with you for when you need it.
Maybe it’s the memory of the solo you did in a school play that you can apply to leading your first client meeting.
When you’re caught in fear or your confidence is low it can be easy to forget that you once felt otherwise and that it’s possible to overcome that thing that scares you and feel confident again.
A few months ago I had an idea for my book and I planned to spend my summer writing in-between picnics, parties and Prosecco.
But summer came, summer went and nothing ever came of that book idea. Infact, I don’t even remember the idea that I had.
But then a few days ago I had another idea and I thought about how great it was that I have ideas in abundance.
And perhaps this current book idea will just become a series of blog posts but it could also become my bestselling debut.
Either way this situation of forgetting a good idea and quite seamlessly moving on to something else I’m just as happy with has served as important reminder.
First of all to follow through with my ideas but also that I’m full of them and I want to share them.
It can be difficult to admit that because it feels a bit showy to put yourself out there but it’s also necessary.
I think the problem many people face is the feeling of overwhelm when the compare where they are with where they want to be.
Instead of focusing on what they can do from where they’re currently at they focus on the gap.
And sometimes that gap is vast.
But like I said at the start it’s just a matter of practice. And that might be to practice voicing your thoughts in a group setting when someone asks of anyone has any points they want to add.
Practice going to events alone and making an effort to talk to strangers despite the discomfort or nerves.
Pick what you want to work on and see how it goes. It might be challenging the first time but don’t be put off because we all know that practice makes perfect and if not perfect it makes you better than you were yesterday.
My childhood perception of my twenties was that I’d be married or at least engaged, living in my own home and possibly have a kid on the way. But once I got to my twenties I realised that I used those things to escape from actually thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.
I don’t feel like an actual proper adult and I’m not sure I ever will but I also have no idea what that’s meant to feel like. However, I have had lots of experiences that have taught me useful things and allowed me to develop and grow.
Even though those things were challenging, they’re a big reason of why I can so confidently show up here on this site and write about overcoming things, offering tips or advice and writing about the dream-life.
My life isn’t what kid me thought it would be but I can count on 2 hands some of the things I’m grateful for. In not having the life I thought I would in my early twenties it’s forced me to confront the very things I was running from.
And because of that my life is much more interesting (or at least that’s the story I tell myself).
When you think of networking what comes to mind?
For me it used to be fancy people in fancy clothing making conversation with the right people.
Everyone would act important even if they didn’t believe it and being the person that everyone wanted to talk to was a signal to the rest of the room that yes you were really a somebody, not just a pretender.
But one morning whilst making my lunch for work, I started thinking about all the people I’ve met over the last 12 months and my growing collection of business cards.
I realised that over the past year or so I’d been networking accidentally. I’ve met people starting businesses, brand owners, fellow bloggers, photographers, Web designers and other creatives.
When you have an idea in your head of how something should look or how it’s supposed to be, chances are you might miss it when it happens.
My writing habit was born from journaling which explains why I write with such confidence.
I’m used to writing about my thoughts on life and things I’ve experienced, in fact I’m incredibly comfortable doing it.
Granted a blog is more open than a journal but the practice is the same.
It’s been more than a decade and since I first started journaling and more than 7 years since I started my first blog.
And looking back over 10 years, my writing has improved so much. I can’t promise I’m the best at it but I’m confident that I’m better than I used to be.
Best of all, it’s something I love to do.