The idea of being a beginner may be enough to put you off starting something new especially if you use social media. These days everyone is an expert at something and if that something is the thing you want to try out you might end up feeling like there isn’t room for someone new.
However, the feeling may also be fear related, perhaps you’re afraid of showing up in a space as a beginner or someone with little experience when everyone else is more established and more experienced.
But it’s important to remember that you have to start from somewhere, everyone was once a beginner.
You don’t need to show up as an expert when you’re just starting out and you don’t need to worry about whether there is room for you, just show up as someone who is ready to learn.
Good things take time.
When you start something new you’re likely to be unpolished to begin with, you’re still learning afterall.
But that initial stage is what puts many people off. They get caught up in the idea that they’re not good enough. They play the comparison game, often looking at people with much more practice and experience.
The reality is that it takes time to find your rhythm. After a couple of weeks you can’t expect to be perfectly polished. That’s not even reasonable.
It’s so helpful and a much more enjoyable process, when you put the focus on doing the work instead of the end result.
Also known as complaining about all the things other people have.
‘She’s the same age as me but I’m pretty sure she’s a millionaire (or at least not far from it), she successful, beautiful, has great personal style, has more freedom, more friends and probably more of something else beginning with F, like Fendi perhaps. I definitely can’t afford Fendi.
Her life is so much better than mine.’
What’s the use in making comparisons if it doesn’t feel good or it makes you forget all the good things your life is full of.
How about instead of looking at what other people have, focus on yourself.
You have a challenging and interesting job, you have a few close special friends, you make people laugh, you’re generous, you spend your free time creating and you’re an avid learner.
Sure you don’t have tonnes of money but that’s not what has you feeling discontent because there will always be someone who has things you don’t have.
You feel discontent because you’re playing a losing game whilst trying to convince yourself that you can win.
You feel discontent because you’re not happy with where you’re at and you’re using other people as a distraction from how you feel about yourself.
But maybe you could face those feelings and figure out what you can do to change the way you feel for the better.
I often make comparisons between myself and others that do similar things to me or things similar to what I’d like to do.
Then the other day I read a quote by Mark Manson I think, it that was about competing with yourself and it really resonated.
It effected me differently because despite seeing (and rolling my eyes at) countless you only need to compete with yourself blah, blah blah quotes it never really clicked for me.
But the more I think about the things I’d like to do in life the more I realise how pointless it is to compete with others because I don’t want to be like them in terms of what I create. I think too much focus on competing creates space for distractions from the work, the goal, the plan.
I’ve progressed over the years, granted it’s been at an inconsistent stop and start tortoise pace but like that well known quote goes, slow progress is better than no progress.
Seeing other people work hard makes me want to work hard.
Seeing other people do well makes me want to do well.
But its not about competing, it’s about reminding myself that I too am capable.
And so are you.