The comparison monologue

Also known as complaining about all the things other people have.

‘She’s the same age as me but I’m pretty sure she’s a millionaire (or at least not far from it), she successful, beautiful, has great personal style, has more freedom, more friends and probably more of something else beginning with F, like Fendi perhaps. I definitely┬ácan’t afford Fendi.

Her life is so much better than mine.’

What’s the use in making comparisons if it doesn’t feel good or it makes you forget all the good things your life is full of.

How about instead of looking at what other people have, focus on yourself.

You have a challenging and interesting job, you have a few close special friends, you make people laugh, you’re generous, you spend your free time creating and you’re an avid learner.

Sure you don’t have tonnes of money but that’s not what has you feeling discontent because there will always be someone who has things you don’t have.

You feel discontent because you’re playing a losing game whilst trying to convince yourself that you can win.

You feel discontent because you’re not happy with where you’re at and you’re using other people as a distraction from how you feel about yourself.

But maybe you could face those feelings and figure out what you can do to change the way you feel for the better.

 

An inconsistent tortoise

I often make comparisons between myself and others that do similar things to me or things similar to what I’d like to do.

Then the other day I read a quote by Mark Manson I think, it that was about competing with yourself and it really resonated.

It effected me differently because despite seeing (and rolling my eyes at) countless you only need to compete with yourself blah, blah blah quotes it never really clicked for me.

But the more I think about the things I’d like to do in life the more I realise how pointless it is to compete with others because I don’t want to be like them in terms of what I create. I think too much focus on competing creates space for distractions from the work, the goal, the plan.

I’ve progressed over the years, granted it’s been at an inconsistent stop and start tortoise pace but like that well known quote goes, slow progress is better than no progress.