If you feel a resistance towards something, it might simply be that you don’t want to do it.
And you don’t have to.
There will always be a time when working through it is an option and possibly the best choice to make. However, it’s perfectly okay to reach a point where you say ‘no’ and decide that certain challenges aren’t worth taking on.
You don’t have to resist or try to make it work, I promise you, it is okay.
Life is full of endings and new beginnings. But sometimes when things are getting to the end and we don’t know what is around the corner, we get nervous and become resistant.
We try to put the pieces back together instead of just clearing them to make way for the new.
It’s okay when it ends, not everything was meant to last forever.
Sometimes your life may take an unanticipated shift.
The easiest thing to do is resist but this only ever makes things worse.
It might seem strange to be told that accepting something that is difficult, challenging or unwanted will be better than trying to avoid it but it’s true.
This shift could be related to health, career, personal style, home, friendship or a romantic relationship.
More often than not you’re simply not ready for the change and so you try and put it off until you are.
But, you can’t control it, no matter how hard you control.
You’re much better off going with the flow of change than resisting or pushing against it.
Sometimes change begins not with action but with a feeling.
Perhaps you find yourself doing something you’ve done for years, something that you usually enjoy but this time it feels different.
And so you have 2 choices. The first is to follow that feeling and the second is to ignore it.
Following that feeling will allow you to go with the tide and become the person that you are developing into.
If you choose to ignore, it means resisting the flow of life. This happens when we are not ready to change because sometimes we feel like we need more time.
But eventually you’ll get bored of not growing and you’ll find ourselves seeking out the very thing you didn’t think you were ready for.
This is the way of the optimist.
It’s also worth remembering that even if things don’t turn out in the way that you consider to be ‘the best’, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost.
That way no matter what life throws at you, you’ll be able to roll with it with a little less resistance or resentment.
However, all of this means nothing unless you put it into practice.
The next time thing don’t turn out as you planned pay attention to your thoughts. Is your inner monologue deflated, is it going 101mph complaining about how life is unfair and nothing goes your way or is their acceptance of your current situation and thoughts on how to move forward?
Have you ever had someone tell you what to do or what you need to work on and instantly put resistance to it, even when it’s something you planned to do or know you need to work on?
I have and I can take a wild guess that some of you have too. I recently found myself wondering what exactly this resistance is that comes up and more importantly why it happens.
I think it’s a mix of ego and the fact that sometimes being told what to do is annoying.
But since it’s impossible to avoid someone telling you what to do whether it’s a sibling, parent, manager, teacher stranger etc. The best thing to do is figure out how to overcome that feeling instead of being stubborn about it.
However if that has no benefit, it might be worth just doing what you’re told.
Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone that tells you what to do. But when you know that you need to be more focused and someone points it out, if you give into stubbornness and double down on your lack of focus it’s not going to help and it probably won’t feel good.
I’ve learnt a lot by simply looking at my own behaviour and assessing what does and doesn’t work.
That’s a large part of what I write and something that begins as why do I always xyz turns into me learning about a psychological theory, brain stuff and people stuff.
Recently I’ve been learning through practical experience that when you have an issue you can’t bypass the main bit of it, the brunt of it.
It’s one of those things that I know but at times still try to ignore which results in un-ideal circumstances.
Which is just a reminder that what you resists persists, you can’t bypass the brunt.
Most of us have things that we want to achieve in this life and some of us are willing to work extremely hard for what we want.
We’ll sacrifice a lot of things and even go through periods or excessive stress or discomfort in order to reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
In some ways it’s like we take the path of most resistance. We know we could live an easier life but we choose otherwise because we’re not just dreamers we’re do-ers.
But at the end of the day, what’s it worth?
Is putting yourself through a great challenge worth it in the hope that you’ll overcome it.
Of course if you make sacrifices and are able to upgrade your life tenfold then you’ll believe it was worth it.
But don’t get caught in believing that you need to struggle to justify your success.