So often we think that we have to have everything worked out.
We convince ourselves that an idea is not enough that we have to have everything mapped out from A to Z and all the steps in between.
But life will never go exactly as you plan, no matter how hard you try to control things.
I’ve learnt that the more you try to control things the less prepared you are for the unexpected. Granted it’s good to have some kind of plan and not just be like a boat with no oars. But you have no control over the flow of the waves.
The optimum circumstance is to be adaptable and often that means being able to figure things out as you go because you can’t plan for every possibility.
The answer might surprise you, or not.
By ‘it’ I mean this blog, the words, my writing.
I used to think that it was for you, that I was doing this because I had some great message to share with you and that it would hopefully inspire you in some way (or something along those lines).
But then I started reflecting on what I was writing about and how I was feeling each time I let the words pour out.
That’s when I realised that it was for me. I write for myself. Sure I want you to read it and I’m happy when you do but my musings of fear, challenges and the dreamlife are things I write because of the life I have lived.
I find it helpful to write a couple hundred words on overcoming a difficult situation because it serves as a reminder that not only is it possible, but that I’ve actually done it.
And when I think about all the pieces I’ve written it’s a reminder of the journey that I’m on and all the ‘gemms’ I’ve learnt along the way.
Some days the ‘gemm’ might be something I noticed whilst I was on the train and other days it’ll be an epiphany that changes the way I live my life.
And perhaps a few years ago I wouldn’t have had the confidence to share these random short pieces but I’m glad that I decided to start doing it.
Because if you make peace with the worst possible outcome, it can only go up from there.
If you’re afraid to do something because of how it will turn out you’re probably not going to do it. But by figuring out what exactly you’re afraid of it might help you overcome it.
That’s because once you learn to embrace the worst case scenario you realise that it’s not the end of the world.
When you accept that things going wrong won’t bring the world down, that unless you’re dead (yes I had to take it there), there’s room for you to bounceback, well the fear kinda dissipates.
And as much you might feel fear, most of what you’re afraid of isn’t ever life and death risky.
So, learn to embrace the fear instead.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, talking helps.
When used correctly it’s an excellent tool for self exploration where you can walk away from conversations and gain insight into aspects of yourself you hadn’t yet uncovered.
The beauty of it is that you don’t have to even need talking about the thing. However, you do have to be open and vulnerable to allow things to rise to the surface.
Yes, it might feel scary or uncomfortable but you don’t have to hold onto those feelings.
Do it, because you believe that by exploring your mind it’ll help you figure some things out and that might lead to a breakthrough.
It always feels good to start projects and make plans (at least it does for me anyway).
But what’s the use in making plans if you don’t follow through.
That really good idea you have could actually be something in the physical reality if you’re willing to bring it to life.
To want and do nothing is of no real use.
It creates a cycle of excitement at the possibility and disappointment at the outcome of nothingness.
Everyone has plans whether its passing thoughts or things you dedicate your daydreams to but if you really want the plan to become part of your reality then you kinda have to do something about it.
Don’t spend so much time trying to figure yourself out and. Pondering and ruminating on where you fit in and the kind of person that you are.
Give yourself some credit and remember that you aren’t so simple that you fit into a neat box or that you’re easy to label.
You’re complex and ever-evolving.
There is comfort in being able to say I’m this kind of person and this is what I like . But often when we do that we don’t give ourselves room to grow. The last thing you want is is to end up boxed into limitations of your own making.
Go out and explore yourself, what does it mean to be you? It might be strange and beautiful but that’s okay.
You might find that you’re a juxtaposition of messy and particular, simple and complex, a painter and a scientist, there’s endless possibilities and it would be a shame to never find out.
According to the dictionary app on my phone self-discovery is ‘The learning of what kind of person one really is, or what one really wants to do with ones life’.
I think that is something worth pursuing.
It’s much easier to tell yourself a story about the worst case scenario.
‘Of course this won’t work out…’
But even in those cases we often have this picture in our mind of how we want things to really turn out. We’re just too scared to believe in the possibility of something good happening for us.
As life would have it, sometimes good things do happen. It’s not as rare as our minds will have us believe.