There are good arguments to support both sides.
On one hand perhaps you should lower your expectations because they’re too high. Examples of this could be expecting to earn £50,000 as a graduate with no experience or expecting a friend to reduce their rates even though you know the quality of their work will be more than worth it.
Then on the other hand, a reason not to lower your expectations is because you don’t want to get into the habit of settling. I think there’s a fine line between knowing what you want and expecting too much. Knowing what you want is great. Believing that it is possible to have more than you have right now even though it might take time is a pretty fantastic thing.
One of the most common reasons that people lower their expectations is because they allow the thoughts and opinions of others to convince them that what they want is unrealistic.
If that is the case, it might be worth being more selective about who you get advice from and who you choose to listen to.
One of the things I enjoy writing about is the dream life.
But it’s more than just words it’s about the kind of life I aspire to. Whilst daydreaming one night I realised that I’ve never really shared my dream life in great detail.
One of the main reasons is, there is not one set type of life that I want. Instead I am open to a variety of different scenarios. But another reason is, it can be scary to share your aspirations. As soon as you consider it questions like ‘what will people say if things don’t work out?’ start popping up.
However I’m learning that, it’s good to talk about what you want. It doesn’t need to be on a blog or social media, it could be with friends or family instead. I think sometimes with daydreams because it is something we create in our minds, we end up convincing ourselves that it can’t come true.
But the dream life is possible and I think simply talking about it can be one of the first steps to bringing it to life.
A dream life or even dream job doesn’t have to be a single fixed thing for your entire life.
The life you aspired to have at 15 years old is likely to change once you reach your mid-twenties, if not years before.
You might realise you’re no longer interested in the life you used to want. But perhaps you followed that path, had a great few years and have decided that you want to move on to another dream.
It can be challenging to move on from something you spent years working towards. If it didn’t work out you might feel like you failed and if it was going swimmingly, moving on might feel too risky.
However, sometimes when things are going well, we stick around for too long and end up unhappy. The reason behind this is, having a life of many dreams actualised is rarely encouraged. Instead we’re told to pick one thing and stick with it.
And so when we start to think about moving on to a new dream, we hesitate. We close ourselves off to the possibilities of life and settle for less.
But dreams aren’t rigid, restricted or confined. Don’t be afraid to dream a new dream.
We’ve all heard the phrases like the grass is greener or the popular song Somewhere over the rainbow.
There is often a feeling of desire for the things you don’t have and the places you think you’d rather be. Sometimes, you simply desire to obtain the things you know you’ll get eventually but you don’t have the patience to wait.
That feeling of desire creates a feeling of discontent for the present moment because you’re always looking elsewhere instead of actually being in the present moment.
Often, it’s not that you’re even unhappy with where you’re at. Instead the issue is that you’re so enticed by the possibility of everything that, you don’t have that you allow it to distract you from being present.
It’s easy to put things off and get caught up in analysing every possible outcome.
You might find yourself visualising the path you’re considering, hoping for a sign that the time to do it is now.
Or maybe you go online and do some research hoping to find a story that resonates from someone that took a chance.
There are only ever 2 choices, do nothing or do something.
Staying still, stuck and stagnant rarely feels good. Often once the moment to choose passes and you do nothing you end up regretting it.
But when you decide to take action and do something you open yourself up to the possibilities of life.
It might scare you but sometimes it’s time to jump.
It’s easy to make excuses for why things didn’t work out.
But often the reason is simply because you didn’t believe it was possible.
When you have self belief you approach life differently.
You walk with your head held high, you don’t second guess yourself and your actions flow.
When you don’t have self belief, you struggle to make decisions with certainty, your confidence is low and and you’re less likely to think the life you want can become a reality.
And so when it comes to making things happen self belief is essential.
It’s strange how sometimes you can find yourself resisting the very thing that you know will help.
Maybe, it’s because it feels like too much effort or maybe you’ve forgotten how much it might benefit you.
It could be something as simple as going for a walk when you’re feeling down. Perhaps, the thought of putting on proper clothes, doing your hair and seeing other people when you’re not at your best is enough to make you think that staying inside is the better option.
But the longer you stay inside the more difficult it’ll be to convince yourself to go outside.
Sometimes even when you know something might help you can’t being yourselves to do it because you’re not in a hopeful mindset. You don’t feel like trying to make things better because in that moment you don’t even believe it’s possible.
But why not do the thing that might help anyway and see how you feel afterwards. It might not make things better but it definitely won’t make things worse.
I once wrote that perfection is a falsehood. I stand by that statement. Perfection doesn’t really exist becuase of 2 things: perception and possibility.
What may seem perfect to one person will be viewed differently by another. Perceptions of others might end up changing your own view of your work. But perfection will never be universal because not everything is for everyone.
The end result of anything you do is based on picking one option out of several. But if at certain stages you found yourself caught between perhaps 2 out of the 5 options, when you’re finally done you may wonder about the possibilities of the other options. You might find yourself thinking, maybe it would have been even better if you chose the other option.
So why not let go of the perfectionism, something you’ll never truly achieve. Instead focus on the joy joy of creating your work and getting better and better over time.
When it comes to the exciting possibilities of life, how often do you allow yourself to experience them.
Often we end up looking from afar and think about how great it would be if it happened to us. The truth is in many cases we’re actually not ready for the good stuff to happen.
It’s much easier to stick with what you know.
The thing is even if what you know is great, it doesn’t mean that their isn’t more great stuff out there for you to experience.
There isn’t a cap on how much excitement you can have in your life, you just have to be open to it.
When thinking about what you want to do in the future, dream big.
You don’t have to be realistic and confine yourself to what you think is possible based on where you are in life right now.
In ten years time you’ll have more knowledge and experience so think of what is possible for future you.
It could be anything from writing a book, to owning a home in the countryside, visiting every country, moving a broad for a 6 months to a couple of years, starting a business, getting your products stocked in Selfridges or having a garden where you grow the majority of what you eat.
If those things don’t seem big enough to you then dream bigger. You don’t have to place limitations on what is possible for your life.