Criticism and feedback

Which one is worth more?

Often feedback is something you ask for whereas criticism is something you get given.

And so there is the idea that criticism is always negative and feedback is useful which in some ways I think is true.

I think that both are worth something if they’re specific and can be used to make improvements but the circumstance should also be considered.

Letting a restaurant know the food arrived cold is worth more than telling an author that their book was bad because you didn’t enjoy it. Nobody enjoys cold food that’s supposed to be hot but there will always be people that like stories about aliens.

And so it’s not a conversation about criticism and feedback but instead objectivity and subjectivity.

If you haven’t got anything ‘good’ to say…

…say something better tomorrow.

Not everything you say will be good, perfect or profound. But that doesn’t mean you should say nothing.

So often we bite our tongue because we don’t don’t think that what we have to say is enough of whatever we think it needs to be. Next time you’re about to keep quiet, I dare you to say something.

Your voice is important. 

How will you ever get better if you’re too afraid to use it?

Where perspective comes from

There’s that story about a bunch of people blindfolded touching different parts of an elephant and describing what it’s like.

Each description is different yet all are valid. But to the man without a blindfold who can see the animal the others may all be wrong or only partially right. They’re each doing their best to offer a perspective based on the information that’s been given.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming there’s a presupposition that says:

Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have available 

And so if we accept this presupposition perhaps we can be a little more understanding of where people are coming from.

What you say vs How you feel

We often say things that don’t align with how we feel.

Sometimes it’s because we don’t feel in control or we’re scared to be assertive.

Other times we’re not even aware that we don’t really feel what we are saying but the proof is in what we do.

It’s like if someone says they want to make new friends but all they do is go to work and then spend time at home watching Netflix, then still complain that they have no people to hang out with even though they make no conscious effort to even be around new people.

We’ve all fallen into wishing and waiting at some point in our lives. And when you stop and think you’ll often find that you’re either not ready for what you think you want or you don’t truly want it.

Sometimes both apply.

When a fan reads a review

I recently read a review for an album by favourite New Zealand singer and it wasn’t particularly favourable. The article in summary said that the album had a few good songs and then some not so good ones inbetween.

I feel like when you’re a fan it’s easy to almost become protective of the people you support. With this particular album I have my favourites on the album but the ones I like less aren’t bad songs, they just don’t move me as much but that’s kind of the point.