Mid-week musings on not embracing anxiety.
If you find yourself caught in the analysis paralysis of indecision it might be worth making a conscious effort to care-less.
Instead of allowing the thoughts to go on and on until breaking point, give yourself a deadline.
3 minutes, 3 hours or 3 days before you have to take action. Do it for at least a week and keep a dairy of the decisions you made and the outcome.
The ideal outcome would be that you find that whether you care or care-less things will still be alright which is a pretty good reason to stop being so afraid of making decisions.
You’ll have physical evidence that what you decide isn’t always the most important thing it’s how you feel and your attitude towards what you’ve decided.
And if you find you’ve picked something that didn’t result in the desired outcome , then it’ll be the perfect time to practice your bouncebackability.
At the end of trying out a different approach to decision making the beauty of it is, is that if it was just totally dreadful you can always go back to your old approach.
If that’s the the case at least you tried which is often more important than the actual result.
Do you remember when you were your most confident self?
Common advice in challenging situations when we’re afraid is to ask ‘what would [insert name of inspirational person] do?’
I think that’s a really helpful tool but it can also just emphasise the gap between where you’re at and where you want to be instead of bridging it.
So, what if you consult your past self at peak confidence instead. If you were confidence once you can be confident again.
When you find yourself facing a challenge think of a time you were confident or did something difficult in the past. Close your eyes, visualise it, feel that feeling and keep it with you for when you need it.
Maybe it’s the memory of the solo you did in a school play that you can apply to leading your first client meeting.
When you’re caught in fear or your confidence is low it can be easy to forget that you once felt otherwise and that it’s possible to overcome that thing that scares you and feel confident again.
If the service you offer doesn’t require you to be there in person then there’s a chance you can get more for doing less.
Take a coaching service for example.
Say you have 8 clients who all have a total of 4 one hour sessions a month costing £55.
That’s 32 hours a month earning £1760
But what if you batch your sessions and make them online with 2 groups of 4 but each session now lasts 1.5 hours and now costs £50
That’s 12 hours a month earning £1600
But now lets see one group of 8 with a weekly 2 hour session at £55.
That’s 8 hours a month earning £1760.
Imagine working a quarter of the time but earning the same amount, if not more.
It’s not about being money hungry but simply having an awareness that the amount you earn isn’t dependent on how much time you spend working.
Someone who is confident, asks questions, isn’t afraid to rock the boat when necessary, puts themselves forward, goes above and beyond, voices their opinions and is keen to learn new things.
Someone who does what they’re told and is content ploughing along. They might want to do more but they’re unlikely to seek it out because it would require more of them than they’re willing to give.
Someone that thought they could be Person B but deep down they’re a Person A, they just don’t have the confidence. They’re the person who is scared to put themselves forward but wants to do more. They have opinions but don’t often share them. They want to do more than the bare minimum but are also afraid of the attention.
I think most people fit into one of these categories. And of course overtime you can move from one to another. When Person B decides they want more they become person C and then (hopefully) Person A.
But interestingly enough person A can change too. Often caused by their ideas not being embraced, or getting too much pushback, being told to be a little less of themselves etc.
Person A is the most valuable of the three, they get things done whilst being willing to express their humanness.
Person B is like a cog. They don’t stand out and anyone could do what they do.
And Person C, well they have the potential to be great, if they’re willing to try.
With 2019 on its way out, now is the perfect time to start tying up loose ends.
October marks the beginning of the last quarter and I think the next few months are going to be pretty important.
Now is a great time to do things you’ve been putting off, resolve any issues and have those much needed conversations.
But I also think it’s a great time to think about what you want moving forward.
Maybe do a life audit and figure out what’s not working and what is. What do you want more of in your life?
Once December comes around it’s easy to get caught up in the flurry of sequins, sparkles and soirees (and potentially snow), dinners, drinks and dancing.
Then suddenly it’s 2020 and you’ve spent the first few weeks as a floaty thing with no real sense of direction and you have no idea what you want for the year ahead.
So, now might be perfect time to start your process of closing out the year.
And if you’re not convinced, just think about how good it will feel.
Life changing can be as simple as staying in bed for an extra 20 minutes or getting up on the first alarm.
When you think of life changing, what comes to mind?
We often get caught up in thinking for something to be life changing it has to be grand and spectacular. Travelling for 3 months, moving to a new city, quitting your job, winning the lottery etc.
But on the small scale we do life changing things everyday. Something like giving change to to a homeless man. You walk by, stop, find some money, hand it to him and then maybe smile and he’ll respond thanks or god bless (well the ones I see do anyway).
That small interaction could change your life but it could also change his.
Everything that we do has the power to change the trajectory of our lives.
You could attend an event and meet your new best friend, the love of your life (or the next few years), meet someone that offers you a job, learn something new or be inspired to start a new project.
On the other hand, you could stay at home.
I’m experimenting with a different kind of way of writing. It’s less rigid and less forced yet still has a focus.
I’m writing In-flow, from a place where the words pour out simply and with ease. It makes daily blogging much easier and to be honest maybe it’s just a result of blogging daily for over 3 months.
It’s been over 200 days now, the writing habit is well and truly ingrained into my lifestyle.
But it feels good to be in a space where I don’t have to try so hard to come up with what to write. Every. Single. Day.