The way you would react when you’re angry, upset, frustrated or annoyed is not the same way you’d respond when you’re calm and relaxed.
Of course this is fairly obvious, yet how many times have you allowed your feelings to get the better of you instead of simply taking some time.
What ends up happening is you regret it later because now you’re calm, now you can see that actually this other person was trying to be helpful, in fact you agree with them. Maybe you look back and feel like the way you reacted didn’t even make sense.
Now that you’re calmer you can play out in your mind, the way you wish you had responded.
And then you can hold onto that and remember it for next time.
If you go through a period of stress or anxiety, something that can work wonders is taking a break.
It might seem counter productive and you might feel like the better thing to do is pull yourself deeper into what ever has gotten you off balance.
But further exposing yourself to thing that isn’t making you feel good is probably not going to make you feel any better.
What you might need is to take a break.
In this day and age, in our go, go, go society it can be challenging to really take a break from your day to day life.
And so I think it’s important to figure out what helps you rest, reset and refresh your mind.
It could be a walk in nature where you’re away from buildings and cars but surrounded by greenery and wild flowers.
It could be a massage, something that forces you have to stay still and you have to put your phone away.
And once you’re done you’ll know that it worked when you can go back to thing that had you feeling stressed but you now feel calm and at peace.
It was a late Saturday afternoon and all that could be heard was the hum of the refrigerator, the occasional car drive past and the sound of rain on the roof.
It was almost silent, no music, talking or television. It was calming almost meditative. I sat on the sofa with my feet up, in a cosy argyle sweater that I’d bought second hand.
I felt an internal stillness and I felt at peace but I also couldn’t help but wonder why I didn’t allow myself to have moments like this more often.
The next day I indulged in silence once more. This time I was cleaning and had planned to put on a podcast or a playlist. Once I got started sorting, wiping and organising I realised how much I liked the quiet. It felt a little luxurious and just lovely.
It’s interesting that something so significant could come from something so simple. And what I liked even more is that it was unintentional. It wasn’t me forcing myself to be in silence which I think is why I liked it so much.
Often in life there are things we go through in order to reap the rewards later on.
To study for a degree because you’ve been convinced that having one will make things easier in the future.
To stay in a relationship that isn’t great but you hope that it’ll all be for the best once you’re married with kids.
We rationalise it as short term pain for long term gain but sometimes it’s a lack faith.
Maybe you don’t believe there’s better out there so you settle for what you can get.
You say ‘I’m willing to brave the storm’ in the hopes that the calm will follow (and that the storm won’t totally rip you to shreds).
And that’s cool because it’s an option that you can take if you want but maybe there’s more out there for you.
Maybe you could also choose the calm without the storm because you don’t have to settle and you don’t have to go through ‘hard times’ in order for ‘good things’ to happen.