Sometimes bounce-back and sometimes give yourself time.
I dedicated a whole post to bouncebackability. It’s an important part of life and I believe that having the resilience to not let every little thing in life knock you about is useful.
But on the flip-side sometimes you just need a break. You need to eat good food, take a walk, relax, spend time alone, sleep, do something enjoyable, turn your phone off, sit in silence, take some deep breaths, get a massage or whatever it may be.
It’s not about wallowing but instead admitting ‘I’m going through something and I’m going to take care of myself’. Don’t be so quick to always bounce back to the point where you’re trying to bypass or ignore your feelings.
Because if you make peace with the worst possible outcome, it can only go up from there.
If you’re afraid to do something because of how it will turn out you’re probably not going to do it. But by figuring out what exactly you’re afraid of it might help you overcome it.
That’s because once you learn to embrace the worst case scenario you realise that it’s not the end of the world.
When you accept that things going wrong won’t bring the world down, that unless you’re dead (yes I had to take it there), there’s room for you to bounceback, well the fear kinda dissipates.
And as much you might feel fear, most of what you’re afraid of isn’t ever life and death risky.
So, learn to embrace the fear instead.
Giving advice is easy but practicing what you preach takes commitment and belief. Especially when you as a reader don’t know what I do day to day so for you to take in or use what I say means I’m building trust.
A big part of that is being honest and living what I write. In a recent challenge that is set to become my biggest growth point I felt myself dwelling and wondered how long it would last.
That is until I remembered my post titled bouncebackability and I them started to think not about how dreadful the situation was but instead what I would need to overcome it.
Turns out this is a real word, not one that I made up!
It’s pretty self-explanatory:
a person’s ability to bounce back from a challenging situation
For example, you attend an interview and don’t get the job.
Do you wallow and internalise it? Convince yourself that you’re not good enough, that you’ll never get a job because if this job didn’t want you then there’s no hope left in the world and you might as well end it all now.
Or on the flip-side do you think ‘ Oh, that’s a shame, I’ll just find something else’ and continue your search.
The first reaction could take days for you to bounce back from whilst the second reaction shows minimal straying from your usual self.
The first reaction is pretty dramatic, but I’ve been there. A few years ago, I was anxious, depressed and unemployed convinced that my circumstances would never change.
My ability to bounce back was poor. However, I can now say that my bouncebackability has improved tenfold. If I found myself unemployed tomorrow it’d be a totally different experience.
It’s a mental thing really, you have to change the way you process things.