A seemingly simple four word question that is often almost impossible to answer.
Even when you know what you want you’re likely to find yourself making excuses for why it’s not possible for you or how it’s just a daydream.
But also I think it’s difficult to admit what you truly want when you know that you haven’t even tried to make it happen. If your wants don’t align with what you currently do or are currently working towards it highlights where you’ve fallen short.
Nobody wants to be reminded that they’re not where they want to be in life especially when you’re not even working towards what you want.
And so the lesson is to keep checking in with what you want in life. Once you have that figured out all you have to do is start bridging the gap.
When leading a movement or if you put yourself in a position to be a voice for change, a question to regularly ask is, what next?
What next, when things don’t go to plan?
What next, when people lose motivation?
What next, when you complete one of the things you were working towards?
The road to your destination will be paved with what next over and over again.
If you’re not ready to ask yourself (or be asked) that question and start figuring out an answer, then perhaps you’re not ready to lead.
To lead takes innovation, a strong sense of self, dedication and commitment.
Not everybody is able to hold out their hand and say come this way.
When was the last time you checked in with your dream life.
As in checked to see if you’re moving any closer to the things you want or say you want from life.
More importantly, do you know what you need to do in order to get there?
It could be learning a skill, saving money or building your confidence.
If you’re not making the effort to do what needs to be done then you can’t be disappointed when things don’t magically falling into place.
Something that I believe to be a dream life misconception is that things will happen by themselves. As though you’ll be going about your usual routine and someone will appear ready to change your life. Sure that’s what happened to Cinderella but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen to you too.
Dreamers have high aspirations but the gap between where they are and where they want to be is vast.
Dreamers aren’t always good at bridging the gap because of the qualities they hold.
They’re ideas people but when it comes to getting things done they often fall short.
Think about what it’s like to dream. Your mind is full of vivid pictures and voices that feel real yet they aren’t actualized in common reality.
In order to make things happen to the highest potential, dreamers must also be doers (the kinds of people that get things done). If doing doesn’t come naturally to you it’ll be a useful thing to learn.
It might not be such a bad idea.
When it comes to creating content, you have so many options: blog posts, Instagram feed, Insta-stories, IGTV, YouTube, podcasts, tweets etc.
I’ve been thinking about how instead of just creating one thing, you can share one piece of content across different platforms.
That’s a great way to reach more people because blog readers might not watch YouTube and people that listen to podcasts might not be on twitter.
I think it can also be useful when building a brand and trying to grow your audience to not just be in one place.
With this blog I’ve been reluctant to do anything apart from write a blog posts each day because I don’t want to create more work than I can handle alongside a full-time job, part-time study and my lifestyle blog.
But I’m at a point where I’m close to 1 year of daily blogging and I’m opening myself up the idea of sharing things on Instagram and possibly having audio versions of the post or perhaps a podcast.
And so the blogposts are the molehills but the potential to create a variety of content from these posts is the mountain.
I’m realising that this writing practice based around personal growth and random musings can become so much more than I initially intended.
It’s like a keystone habit but for moments.
A keystone habit is a term created by Charles Duhigg that was featured in his book The Power of Habit, in Duhiggs words it is ‘small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives’.
But what if that could be applied to moments that we experience.
Sometimes all it takes is a conversation to create a shift in perspective and if you follow that feeling it could end up changing your life for the better.
Imagine you’re pretty frustrated and uninspired by life then one day you meet someone and have a conversation about aspirations that moves you. So much so that you’re driven to make changes like start a project, spend more time with friends, make time for the people you live, go for that promotion at work, volunteer or pick up a hobby you’ve been meaning to try.
Chances are you have at least one conversation everyday so that perspective shifting moment could come at any time. However, it’s also important to not be too reliant on external factors in order to drive change in your life.
If you’re not happy with where you’re at you probably have some idea (no matter how vague) of the way you’d actually things to be.
You don’t need a stranger to prompt change in your life.
A few months ago I had an idea for my book and I planned to spend my summer writing in-between picnics, parties and Prosecco.
But summer came, summer went and nothing ever came of that book idea. Infact, I don’t even remember the idea that I had.
But then a few days ago I had another idea and I thought about how great it was that I have ideas in abundance.
And perhaps this current book idea will just become a series of blog posts but it could also become my bestselling debut.
Either way this situation of forgetting a good idea and quite seamlessly moving on to something else I’m just as happy with has served as important reminder.
First of all to follow through with my ideas but also that I’m full of them and I want to share them.
It can be difficult to admit that because it feels a bit showy to put yourself out there but it’s also necessary.
People often complain about their life circumstances and how if only they weren’t working class, their parents were born in the western world, they grew up in a better area etc.
In some ways they envy the opportunities that more ‘privileged’ people have had in life. They may think it’s not fair that others have had the upper hand from the moment they were born where as they’ve had to ‘try and try , try and try’ (from the song You can get it if you really want by Jimmy Cliff).
But the thing is as much as they may think and feel this way, it’s also what they aspire to. To raise families more well off than they were. To have the money to live somewhere bigger and safer. To be a able to give the people around them opportunities because they’re well connected.
Essentially they aspire to become the people that are ahead of the majority, more privileged and people with the upper hand.
It’s hard to make comparisons about who has it harder but that’s not something worth competing over. I think we can all agree we’d like to have things better than they were or currently are.
And who knows down the line your family could be the privileged ones with countless opportunities compared to others.
But from someone else’s perspective, you might be considered pretty privileged right now.
Can you guess what book I’ve been reading?
Over a year ago (on my other blog, wordsbygemm) I wrote a post about my job.
Looking back, knowing what I now know I kind of regret my words.
Here’s what I wrote: Maybe, it’s strange that I sort of like being a cog in a machine, doing my bit to support the bigger picture.
I didn’t know it at the time but I’d fallen into a fear based trap. I basically wanted a factory job that presented itself as something else because it was in an office and I was at a computer instead of a machine.
I’d go to work sit at my desk, check emails, read documents, chat with colleagues, write letters and occasionally make phone calls. That was all I did on a loop pretty much in any random order depending on the day.
But I’ve since seen the light, I suppose. Firstly my level of contentment with how I was showing up at work wasn’t what I thought it would be. I found myself wanting to more.
And so thanks to me choosing to read Seth Godins book linchpin, I’m understanding how I can be better at what I do.
I want to show up at work and add value not just follow instructions, anyone can do that.