There’s a story many of us tell ourselves about what is risky. Often there is no real risk attached to the situation but the story comes from the part of the brain in charge of survival.
It’s like the siren goes off signalling a potential threat but it’s not much use when it happens in a situation like voicing your opinion in a group because you’re not going to die from saying what you think.
Being aware when the *survival brain* is signalling fictional risk gives you the opportunity to overcome situations where you feel anxious.
You might not believe it if you’re caught in feelings of anxiousness or you take your inner monologue as gospel but there are studies on it and for the least I can say it’s worked for me.
A little exercise that’ll be beneficial is to note down something that makes you anxious, the worst case outcome and how you can overcome that.
You might find that many of the worst case outcomes are you feeling bad and all you really have to do to overcome that is remind yourself that it’s okay and maybe try EFT to neutralise feelings of overwhelm.
It’s much easier to tell yourself a story about the worst case scenario.
‘Of course this won’t work out…’
But even in those cases we often have this picture in our mind of how we want things to really turn out. We’re just too scared to believe in the possibility of something good happening for us.
As life would have it, sometimes good things do happen. It’s not as rare as our minds will have us believe.
I’d like to be writing something more inspiring, uplifting or thought prompting. But instead here I am writing tales of things that greatly frustrate me, of situations that turned out not quite as I’d have planned. But that’s the things with words, sometimes its necessary to just let them pour out instead of trying to write in a particular kind of way.
And I guess this is my way of saying that I have a lot on my mind and even though I’m not writing all about it explicitly it’s been prevalent in many of the pieces I’ve written over the past few days.
As much as I want to get back to the good stuff, I don’t want to ignore what’s on my mind at the moment. I’m hoping that once I’m through with where I’m at right now there will be more to come that you’ll probably be much more interested in so bear with me, please.
Growing up I had quite a few occasions where when I would try to speak up about something it was either dismissed or I could clearly tell that the other person wasn’t listening. Through that I learnt to talk less and be more closed off.
Recently, I realised that I had carried this childhood experience into my adult life. That belief became part of my subconsciousness. I would go around with this story that people weren’t listening, it became a sort of self fulfilling prophecy because I had stopped giving people the chance.
But on the flip-side, it meant that when I did open up it came with too much meaning because it was such a rare thing. I can honestly say that that factor has put a lot of pressure on relationships I’ve had.
So now, moving forward with this gift of self awareness, I’m making a conscious effort to be more open. I’m working towards being less anxious and not writing things off before I’ve even given them a go.
I’ve met so many people who I, suppose I judged initially and didn’t open up to but I’ve later come to find that those same people are the ones I actually have a lot in common with.
For me though, it’s not just about giving other people the chance. It’s about giving myself a chance to step outside of old habits, patterns and stories that I tell myself.
Seth Godin once said something like ‘if the story you’re telling yourself isn’t working tell a new one’, i think that’s some pretty useful advice.