Most of us have at least one habit that we know is unhelpful, in fact perhaps you can clearly see how at times it hinders your life. However, you choose to do nothing about it.
You’ve accepted the habit as part of who you are instead of it being something that you’re open to changing or even just working on. But mostly it hasn’t caused a big enough problem in your life for you to consider it to be something that needs to change.
Perhaps you’re habit is lateness. You’re always always late everywhere you go to the point where it’s now expected.
Then, one day you being late causes a significant negative implication to your life. You lose out on something important, miss out on money or ruin a relationship.
It’s only then that you truly consider that you might need to work on your punctuality. Up until that point there were no consequences for your lateness, it was simply just an unhelpful habit. But when you lose a job because of it you realise that actually it’s a bad habit because your life has been negatively affected as a result of it.
When someone you care about comes to you with a problem even if they don’t ask you for advice you’re instinct is to help them and to make the problem go away. You tell them what you think they should do or what you think will fix the problem because you feel like it’s the right thing to do.
But, in doing so we fail to consider the other persons needs. Perhaps they simply wanted to vent but now you’ve bombarded them with all your thoughts and opinions.
Maybe, you’ve convinced yourself that it’s fine to give advice that wasn’t asked for because you have good intentions. You’re just trying to help, you know how to fix things or you feel like your personal experience gives you authority on the matter.
But you have to put yourself aside and consider that maybe the best thing that you can do is ask the other person what they need, then support them as best as you can.
…is that one day you won’t get picked.
If the progression and pathways in your life have thus far been based on people picking you, it probably feels pretty fantastic.
But, what happens when you don’t get picked.
When we become reliant on other people determining our fate for us, we end up feeling lost or stuck when we have to make choices for ourselves.
And so we have to learn to pick ourselves.
In order to find the solution to a problem, it often takes trial and error. Sure, the first thing might work but not always.
Trial and error requires you to be willing to embrace uncertainty, take risks and persevere. However, often in life we’re not willing to do those things as much as we could or even should. And so our problems remain.
It has nothing to do with our problems being difficult or challenging. Instead we simply aren’t willing to try something that might not work, so we simply don’t try at all.
I think it could be said that there are 2 types of limbo.
The first is where you’re caught between 2 options and do nothing. Instead of taking action and making a choice, you end up freezing instead. In this case it may result in life forcing your hand and you end up having to go with
The second is a much broader type of limbo. It’s when you’re caught between 2 options and instead of doing nothing you pick both. This results in being what Ziglar would call ‘a wondering generality’ or what is perhaps more common and referred to as a Jack of all trades, master of none. Sometimes, we think we can find a way around choosing by committing to 2 things but deep down we know that we only have the capacity fully focus on one thing at a time.
And whether you choose to do nothing or you attempt to choose both, either way you’re not making any real progress. That’s the problem with limbo.
One of the best things that we can do for ourselves is, do things that need to be done, instead of putting them off.
Our lives would be so much easier and our stress levels would be significantly lower if only we didn’t wait to get things done.
Often these things to be done are small and don’t take much time at all but the longer we wait the more the urgency builds or the problem grows. Then, all of a sudden we begin to feel overwhelmed by something we could have resolved and moved on from, weeks or even months ago.
If you know what the issue is, do something about it.
You might be nervous or feel like you don’t have the confidence but the issue will only persist if you don’t take action.
And don’t be half-hearted, tackle it with full gusto.
Have the conversations that need to be had and do the things that need to be done.
And most importantly, trust that you are capable.
One of the mistakes we often make is thinking that there is only one solution to every problem. And so, when the way a person chooses to solve a problem does not match up with what we believe the solution to be we can end up being critical and telling them they are wrong.
In these cases, what we are actually doing is forcing our beliefs, opinions and perceptions onto other people. The reality more often than not is that you and this person perceive things differently, it’s not that anyone is wrong or right.
I think that this is something worth remembering. A lot of people find it so easy to be critical of others and tell them what they should or shouldn’t have done.
But the truth is, it’s simply a matter of perception.
On one hand you could stick with sharing your work on a blog because that is what you know, are good at and are familiar with. There is a big difference between being closed off to new things and knowing what works for you.
If you’ve been doing it for years, chances are you’ve grown attached. The problem with getting attached is that this can end up clouding your judgement. Instead of migrating or expanding to a new platform, you end up choosing to stick with what you know. You end up doing this even when you know the current way is not working and there are better options out there.
An example of this could be YouTube. If you’ve been doing YouTube for a while and it isn’t going particularly well it probably won’t hurt to give Tik Tok a go. You don’t need to alter your message because it’s on a different platform. Find a way to share the same message whether on Instagram, YouTube, a podcast, or on Tik Tok etc.
It’s funny how you can dish it out but you can’t seem to take it.
When pondering on a situation occurring in your own life, you are likely to find that you have previously given advice on the very same topic. Furthermore, you were able to give that advice with ease.
And so you are likely to find yourself wondering why acting on something you’ve advised someone else to do is so difficult when it comes to your own life.
Maybe the difficult part isn’t the advice it’s actually taking the responsibility and be choosing to solve a problem instead of merely talking (or complaining) about it.