Effects of choosing kindness

You have the choice to treat people however you like and sometimes that will depend on how much you care.

Small acts of kindness can allow you to escape your own mind for long enough to remember that we’ve all got stuff going on.

Without knowing it, sometimes the kindness of strangers can be enough to change someone’s mood or brighten their day.

It doesn’t have to be something big, it could be as small as making someone a drink or picking something up that you thought they’d like when you’re out shopping.

In order to do those things you have to get out of your head a little and pay attention to what’s around you. In some ways kindness is about not being bare minimum.

You do it because you want to, not because you have to.

The lazy dreamer

Dreamers have high aspirations but the gap between where they are and where they want to be is vast.

Dreamers aren’t always good at bridging the gap because of the qualities they hold.

They’re ideas people but when it comes to getting things done they often fall short.

Think about what it’s like to dream. Your mind is full of vivid pictures and voices that feel real yet they aren’t actualized in common reality.

In order to make things happen to the highest potential, dreamers must also be doers (the kinds of people that get things done). If doing doesn’t come naturally to you it’ll be a useful thing to learn.

In need of a push

Sometimes we put off the very thing that we know we need to do because we don’t feel ready.

We make excuses and say things like, I need more time, I’ll do it when xyz or even I don’t think it will go well. The list is endless.

At times, the truth is you’re not ready and you do need more time.

But other times, you’re in need of a push.

The only way you’ll do the thing you’ve been putting off is if someone forces you to.

Perhaps you’re someone that lives in a big city and you want to move away, change your lifestyle and slow down.

In order to do that you need to leave your job but you keep finding reasons why you can’t like needing to save X amount, work on one more big project or wait until things are less busy.

For that scenario the push would be being made redundant because maybe you’d never have left.

The push may initially seem like a catastrophic major life disaster but when you give it a little time you’ll always find that it was for the best

 

That may come in the form of you losing your job.

Moving forward

A major contributing factor to moving forward in life is being able to let things go.

It could be physical possessions, people or memories and experiences.

An easy example is if you tried something and it didn’t work out. If you can’t let go of the thing that didn’t work you may find that it underlies future situations when you try something new.

Suddenly you’ve become someone that believes that nothing will work out for you, you become closed off to new things and remain stagnant.

That may seem extreme but that’s the reality of life. You won’t realise how much that one situation affected you until you’re randomly pondering life one Sunday afternoon.

I don’t think there’s one specific way to let go, what works for one may not work for another so it’s important to figure it out for yourself.

Someone to polish your glasses

On learning to see things more clearly.

In situations where your perspective is hazy you might need someone to polish your glasses.

Not in the literal sense but in the form of sharing words, interacting and connecting.

When you’re so used to your own way of thinking you might find that you’ve become rigid and closed minded.

And unless you make a conscious effort to open your mind, your way of seeing things is not likely to change.

That’s why it’ll take someone else to shift your way of seeing things. Someone that’ll come into your life with polish and one one of those microfiber dust free cloths to give your glasses a little polish.

And it’ll rarely be explicit instead it’ll be so subtle that you don’t notice until it’s already done.

I think that’s the purpose some people serve in our lives. They could be in your life for multiple years or a mere moment but they spark change.

The little things that bring us joy

I recently discovered a new podcast and listening to it brings me joy.

I find myself often relating to the conversations they have or smiling/laughing.

It’s so useful to fill your life with little things that bring you joy that you have easy access to.

Something extravagant like a week in the Maldives isn’t accessible to you on a regular basis.

You have to think small-scale.

A useful exercise is either throughout or at the end of the day write down all the things you did that brought you joy, then make a vow to do those things more.

It could be meditation, morning gratitude, getting a coffee in the kitchen with your work pal, listening to a particular song or podcast, reading a book, putting on a face mask, saying good morning to strangers on your way to the bus stop or train station or even going for a walk.

As humans we have a tendency to over complicate things but often it’s as simple as, whatever makes you feel good, do more of it.

Self-depreciating

But make it humorous.

How many times have you gone into a situation and rejected yourself or put yourself down before others had the chance?

And of course you don’t just say it out right, you make a joke because everyone likes to laugh. If it’s at your expense, maybe they’ll keep you around.

It’s interesting to identify the why behind your actions or the actions of others. It gives you a greater understanding and the opportunity to practice compassion.

So, maybe you could stop making those self deprecating jokes and try a vulnerable conversation with a friend (or someone else you’re comfortable talking to) instead.