For many people, how they value or see themselves comes from other people.
This might be great when people are treating you well and constantly telling you how great you are but when not so much when you’re treated and being spoken of poorly. You go from feeling good about yourself to not feeling good enough.
Then you end up feeling stuck because you were always so reliant on other people to determine your self-worth that you don’t know how to stop.
And so, you feel down and worthless whilst also blaming other people for how you feel. I think that stage of blaming others continues until you’re able to realise that nobody else should be in control of how you feel about yourself. That’s not a solid foundation.
The leaning tower of Pisa is one of the most buildings in the the world. Its lean comes from what I suppose was a flaw in geo-technical calculations. It is unstable soil and settlement of the foundation that causes the tower to lean.
Yet, what could have been disastrous turned out pretty spectacularly. Probably because it started to lean during construction at a slow enough pace that it could be mitigated rather than leaning on completion with the chance of toppling over at any moment.
The point is that sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to be. But that doesn’t mean they don’t still turn out well. The leaning tower of Pisa was accidentally great.
Would we still love it without the lean? Probably not as much.
Would we still love it if it was supposed to lean? I doubt it.