Sometimes you have to accept that your best isn’t good enough. Perhaps you’re losing clients, not meeting targets or not making enough to meet your basic needs like food and shelter.
But other times the case is that you aren’t actually offering your best, you’re giving half-heartedly.
This often happens when we don’t actually believe in ourselves. We give in a bare minimum sort of way and then tell ourselves that it’s not working out because we’re not good enough.
It’s really just an excuse for fear of trying and fear of failing. But it’s okay, in fact it’s probably a good thing to admit that you’re afraid because once you do, you can work through it and get past it.
When teaching someone how to do something, you have to let them get it wrong.
It may be easier to jump in just before the mistake, error or failure occurs and rectify things. But this brings little benefit in the long run.
In the short run, the person may feel supported which is a good thing. But too much support leads a lack of independence and self-reliance. Instead they become reliant on you being there.
It teaches the person that they don’t have to work things out for themselves because someone will come along to make things right. It may also lead to this person not trying because you’ve showed them that you won’t allow them to fail.
The reason you step in before things go wrong is because you want them to get it right. However, you have to give people space to learn things for themselves and that includes getting things wrong.
It’s one thing to have all these really good ideas but it’s another thing to put yourself out there.
Often the reason for holding back is fear that comes in the form of what ifs.
What if I’m not good enough?
What if nobody is interested?
What if peopel make fun of me?
What if I fail?
The questions go on and on until you’ve totally written yourself off.
But the chances are that if you never try you’ll always wonder if things could have turned out okay, so maybe it’s worth a shot.
Take a risk, put yourself out there.
The idea of things not lasting, of things being temporary is often seen as a bad thing.
It’s seen as a failure.
We get caught up in this idea that if something is good it should last and if it doesn’t last then something was wrong.
I think the problem is that we find it hard to let go of a good thing, perhaps because we don’t believe their is more good things out there for us.
This idea of temporary things can be applied to many situations but lets take the example of friendship.
If you grow apart from someone who was once a close friend you can accept the situation or you can try to get back to the way things were. We idolise the past and try to force things to become what they once were.
I guess it’s difficult to accept that not everything was meant to last.
But in learning to accept temporary things you also open yourself up to some of life’s most beautiful moments.
As much as it’s great to archeive something big, some days it just doesn’t happen.
Some days are slower, you feel a little lost or perhaps you’re not sure where to begin.
At the end of it you might feel like your day has been wasted or that you should have done more.
You might feel this way because you know you could have easily done so much more if only you put in the effort. On the other hand you might feel like you’ve failed your own expectations even though you tried your hardest.
However you feel, there’s no point beating yourself up about it. Some days are meant for the little wins such as: finishing a chapter of the book you’re reading, tidying your living space and a long phone phone call with a close friend.
Just because you fail doesn’t make you a failure, if someone doesn’t accept your help doesn’t make you useless and so it goes on.
I think sometimes we try so hard to define things and to define who we are that we miss the bigger picture. It’s not about being a winner or a loser.
Alan watts wrote something that really stuck with me that pretty much said in terms of duality that you only know one thing because of the other, that they’re different sides of the same coin.
We put so much weight on the meaning behind things that we forget to just take them for what they are.
I often like to remind myself of Zig Ziglars popular quote ‘Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it well.‘
So, how do you execute a big idea when you’re just starting out. Or do you just put it on hold until you have more experience.
I used to think that it was best to wait because I didn’t want to look back on a good idea and see how much better it could have been.
But in doing that, I wasn’t allowing myself the room for trial and error, room to improve.
There’s nothing wrong in doing something poorly , it’s part of the process. Not everything you do will be perfect and treating things as so will only limit your potential.
So, if you have a big idea that you’re holding back on, now might be the perfect time to do something with it.
There’s space between all or nothing but sometimes we forget.
Which is how something like failing can feel like the end of the world.
I think the all or nothing mentality is what causes anxiety in some people.
It’s an over simplification of reality that holds little benefit.
There are people that are incredibly persistent at what they do and they’re terrible at it.
I think about that alot when it comes to blogging because it’s something I started in 2011 which is quite insane because I’ve never really gotten much from it.
But one of the main reasons I’ve stuck with it is because I don’t really know what else to do with my writing. Plus I like the freedom of being able to write whatever, whenever.
With my lifestyle blog, I suppose I’d like to gain from it what all the other lifestyle bloggers do. But growth has been terrible and I’ve been finding it hard to do alot of things that would probably help my growth because I naturally play small and put myself in a corner.
But this blog despite being fairly new is growing (slowly but surely) and I don’t really play small here, the experience is unlike I’ve ever had in all my years of blogging.
Probably because I’ve committed to consistency and my focus is on posting daily instead of likes, comments and followers.
I have a habit of focusing on the bigger picture. I’m trying to see if it’s possible to come up with 365 blog posts in around a month.
The fear of failing is real. But at the same time it doesn’t really mean anything if I miss a day as the only person I’m doing this for is me.
But I’m reminding myself to take things as they come. The longest journey starts with a single step. A daily blog starts with the promise to show up and the discipline to say I’ll post daily, I won’t promise it’ll be perfect but I’m willing to show up and share something.