How to change your life

It’s really easy to say, ‘That’s just how I am’.

Some people even use that as a way to justify continually being unkind to others or even themselves.

But the beauty of life is that we have the opportunity to change and overcome.

I recently wrote about not feeling good enough, something I struggled with for years.

As a result of feeling that way I created a life that I was unhappy with and I became someone who self-sabotaged, had little self-belief and would constantly settle for less. Furthermore, I struggled to stand up for myself.

Once I stopped passively accepting those parts of me as just the way things are, I realised that things could be different, things could be better. I also realised that I was capable of changing my own life.

At the time I didn’t feel capable and it was hard to imagine what things would be like if they were different but I started to believe it was possible.

My personal development and growth was an active change that I worked for and continue to work on.

This sort of thing is really at the crux of the message I want to share on this site. What I want for you to take away from this is you that don’t have to accept the way things are.

Things to be grateful for

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way.

But when times are uncertain and life has thrown a spanner in the works gratitude often becomes a little more challenging.

Suddenly the most prominent things are the bad stuff and you’re not thankful for your life being turned upside down.

In these times it’s even more important to practice gratitude.

The real benefits of the practice come when you’re able to make it a part of your lifestyle, independent of your circumstances.

And so maybe it used to be I’m grateful for getting to be apart of this exciting project or some other major thing that you feel like shouting from the rooftops. But now it’s more like I’m grateful for these cosy socks, the flowers in my garden and running water.

Embracing the worst case scenario

Because if you make peace with the worst possible outcome, it can only go up from there.

If you’re afraid to do something because of how it will turn out you’re probably not going to do it. But by figuring out what exactly you’re afraid of it might help you overcome it.

That’s because once you learn to embrace the worst case scenario you realise that it’s not the end of the world.

When you accept that things going wrong won’t bring the world down, that unless you’re dead (yes I had to take it there), there’s room for you to bounceback, well the fear kinda dissipates.

And as much you might feel fear, most of what you’re afraid of isn’t ever life and death risky.

So, learn to embrace the fear instead.

The optimists way

I recently got some news and my immediate reaction was to conclusions of the worst case scenario.

It’s funny that we do that so often yet we rarely have the full picture or even half the picture.

Why is it that we give in to the inner pessimist and think the worst but never take the path of optimism?

Something that can help change your mindset is consciously thinking about things from a more useful perspective.

The assumptions we make often put us in the role of a victim and so we end up feeling helpless. But the optimistic path puts you in a position of power.

And a person that feels powerful believes in themselves which will totally transform their experience of life.

Fear of the new

Just stick with what you know and don’t explore anything new.

That is the voice of my anxious self which sometimes dominates as my inner monologue.

I’ve learnt to not listen to that terrible advice anymore because when I did, I was miserable. It’s quite fascinating when the thing that you feel you need to do in order to feel ‘safe’ also causes you a lot of problems.

I remember thinking how strange it was that despite doing everything ‘right’ things weren’t going so well.

Then I discovered the thought/idea that I could change myself internally which would ripple outwards and cause my life to change. I remember thinking that it must have been a sort of magic that that was possible and sometimes I still refer to it in that way for fun but also because I don’t actually have a strong knowledge of how the mind or neurology (along with all the other ologies) work so it may as well be magic.

Fear of the new is something that still effects the way I live but it’s different now. I don’t give the voice of my anxieties centre stage as often and I practise little methods that work for me.

It’s like feel the fear and do it anyway for people that fear the little things.

Come as you are and empowerment

I’m no Nirvana fan, I just like the quote and I also learnt that it is not a quote from the bible although the book does reference that sort of vibe.

Anyway, I was thinking about how I feel about this blog and why I love writing it so much even more than my other lifestyle blog.

It’s because I feel empowered having this blog. This is a come as you are kind of blog for me when I don’t have to focus on perception and presentation or showing off the stuff that I buy or things that I do.

I get to show up as myself and ‘make an offering’ in the form of words and it feels great. The best part is that I created this for myself probably because deep down in the depths of my subconscious I knew that it was exactly what I needed.