Sometimes what we call procrastination is actually just making the choice not to do something. Just because you have a task to complete, doesn’t mean you need to do it right away, maybe you don’t feel like it.
We often create this sense of urgency as though nothing can or should be done any later than right now.
Of course, there is a clear issue when not completing the task has negative repercussions such as being overloaded, stressed and rushing to complete things. However, if you’re simply choosing to do something later then it might not be so bad.
When people have an expectation of who they think or want you to be, they have a difficult time I’m accepting when you become something else.
It could be a permanent thing or perhaps you are just going through a phase but either way who you become is your choice. I think we all need to have the space to explore and experiment in order to find ourselves and figure out the kind of person that we want to be.
Unfortunately, sometimes because of the people around you, you end up pushing self-exploration aside. Instead, you’re so focused on what other people think, people pleasing and wanting to feel accepted that you would rather pretend to be someone you’re not.
Being yourself doesn’t even feel like an option.
I think it’s important to remember that being accepted for the person you’re pretending to be isn’t true acceptance. Once you really take that in, you’ll end up realising that it isn’t worth pretending anymore. You may as well just be yourself.
When your life isn’t exactly what one would describe as good, you may find that you’ve developed a fear of things going from bad to worse.
It is this fear that keeps you stuck, stagnant and stops you growing to potentially start living a life that is better than your current circumstances.
From the outside it might seem frustrating that you don’t take action but for you, the person that is experiencing the situation, doing nothing makes prefect sense.
But the problem with doing nothing is that things have no change of getting better.
Sometimes in order to bring in something new, you need to make space for it. A life that is filled to the brim with ‘stuff’ is not a life that is open to the new.
It might seem like the change you want isn’t happening or that things aren’t working out for you. The reality is, you don’t have space for the things that you want.
You have to make space by clearing out the things you no longer need, even if you feel like still want them in your life. It could be physical clutter, friends you’ve outgrown, past times you don’t enjoy, a diet that is hindering your health or a job you’ve been talking about leaving for the past 2 years.
When you finally make space in your life you’ll start to notice how new things flow in with ease, you’ll also become a little more picky about what you choose to keep.
I think sometimes the fear we have of making the wrong choice is really just a sign that our mind is not clear. On the flipside, when you’re mind is not clouded over with stuff you’re able to be more spontaneous and quick thinking with your choices.
More often than we realise we know exactly what to do. However, we allow our thoughts to get carried away and we engage them even when we know it’s not helpful.
Maybe you want to pursue your love of baking but then you let your mind wonder. You start to think about money, what your friends will think, your parents being disappointed, people not getting it, worrying you’ll regret leaving your stressful well paying job, you tell yourself maybe baking is just a hobby or a fantasy career and you wonder if you’re good enough. The thoughts go on until you’ve talked yourself out of making a decision.
You now spend the coming months or even years trying to decide what to do. The truth is you’re just putting off doing exactly what you know you want to do.
If you could choose to shift your perception in order for your life to feel a little more wonderful, would you do it?
Sometimes we’re so bogged down by the challenges we face and the harsh realities of life, we don’t allow ourselves to believe that life can be fun, joyful and sweet.
We see those things as passing moments here and there rather than something that can become our everyday life.
As much as it might seem frustrating a large part of your experience comes from what you choose to focus on. If you’re only focused on the harsh and challenging aspects of life then you’ll end up thinking that there isn’t much else out there. However, we can all choose to see things differently.
It’s not about ignoring the challenges and difficulties but instead remembering that there is so much more to life.
When we think about getting someone to buy something the first is probably that it’s a bad thing. Perhaps what comes to mind is a greasy car salesmen or some sort of trickster who will tell lies to convince you to spend money.
But what about the other times we buy things based on being influenced and we’re happy with the choice. I don’t consider that to be a bad thing.
It could be a £1,100 pair of Valentino Garavani boots that you feel great in, you get you compliments every time you wear them and they were purchased in a store where you received excellent service. It could also be £10 water bottle that doesn’t leak.
The issue arises when we buy something and it doesn’t work as it should, it doesn’t feel worth it, it feels like a waste of money, we regret the purchase or it stops working and you can’t get a refund.
Nobody wants to feel like they’ve been duped, we want to feel like we’re making good choices and spending our money well.
There’s a choice to be made that sometimes ends up being a sacrifice.
It’s possible to have security and happiness but people often make choices that prioritise one over the other.
They do this for reasons such as fear, a lack of self belief or because they have people relying on them.
It becomes difficult to choose to pursue something creative where you know you’ll go through a period of low finances and you have people to support. In cases like the choice is security because if you pick happiness the people that need you are now at risk.
Sometimes in life you do have to do things you might not want to do but it’s important that you do it for the right reasons. Choosing a path based on security because you have children to care for is very different from choosing security because you’re trying to appease your parents or impress other people.
I think that what we do for a living matters. When you have to wake up everyday and do something that you don’t enjoy, interact with people you don’t agree with, work late to meet deadlines and give your time and energy to work that you don’t care about, maybe you should be doing something else.
I think we’re lucky that we’re liberated enough to have some choice about what we do. We have options. We have the opportunity to change our lives if we’re not happy with where we’re at.
And so here are some reasons to quit your job and move on to something better:
- You no longer enjoy it
- It requires more than you’re willing to give
- You could get paid more at another company
- You’re constantly saying you want to quit
- You want to change careers
The idea of saying yes to what you want is pretty simple yet somehow we often end up doing the opposite.
We end up saying yes to things that we don’t want.
We have this idea in our mind of what we want, what we’ll say yes to and what we’re willing to accept. Then, when the moment arises where we have the opportunity to show up truthfully, we crumble.
We say yes instead of no and we make allowances or excuses for other people. It’s like we intentionally draw the short straw. It could be about people pleasing, a fear of hurting other peoples feelings or maybe you’re just scared to say no.
What ever the reason, you’re the one that then ends up committing to something that doesn’t even align with what you really want.
And when this happens, it shows. You give less effort, show less enthusiasm and even if you don’t say it, you end up giving off a sort of ‘I don’t want to do this vibe’.
Essentially you just make things harder for yourself and you end up less happy than you could have been.