You have the choice to treat people however you like and sometimes that will depend on how much you care.
Small acts of kindness can allow you to escape your own mind for long enough to remember that we’ve all got stuff going on.
Without knowing it, sometimes the kindness of strangers can be enough to change someone’s mood or brighten their day.
It doesn’t have to be something big, it could be as small as making someone a drink or picking something up that you thought they’d like when you’re out shopping.
In order to do those things you have to get out of your head a little and pay attention to what’s around you. In some ways kindness is about not being bare minimum.
You do it because you want to, not because you have to.
If you live outside of the UK and keep up with global politics then you’ll know that on the 12th December there is a UK general election.
Although there are various parties running, it’s really just a choice between Labour and Conservatives.
From the perspective of someone who isn’t particularly political, Labour is for ‘the people’ and Conservatives are for ‘the man’.
But I also think it’s worth reading about the plans of both parties and making an independent judgement.
Don’t just follow the crowd, your family or what you see on social media. Get informed and vote based on your own opinion.
I think it’s better to vote based on what you believe instead of just copying what’s popular because you’re scared to stand out.
It might make for an uncomfortable conversation but at least you stood up for your beliefs.
…in anger (this has nothing to do with Oasis but I do love that song!).
You can spend your whole life working on improving aspects of your life. Imagine you’ve always struggled with your career and finding something that you like that pays enough that you can live a life you’re happy with you.
Imagine you’ve spent years feeling unsatisfied moving from job to job.
Then all of sudden you find something that is everything you’ve always wanted and you’re finally happy doing what you do to earn a living.
But you’re also left with somewhat of a gaping hole in your heart where that struggle used to be.
Even though things have changed for the better, it feels as though something is missing because you’re lighter now.
What’s missing is the stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, worry and the struggle. Yet somehow you might find yourself longing for what once was.
Overcoming is a pretty big deal, acknowledge what you’ve accomplished and don’t look back on what once was.
You can’t always have both.
So it turns out that the thing that brings you the most comfort might also be incredibly unhelpful to your personal development. It could even be the main thing holding you back from living your dream life, a life of bliss.
But you get so caught up in the comfort of this habit that has grown on you and with you that you can’t even see how it is hindering your progress.
On the flip-side of this is helpful habits and actions. If you’ve never done them before they probably feel a little uncomfortable but that is to be expected. Despite, how these things may feel they’re actually good for you and following though with them will lead you to your dream life, a life of bliss.
And so it’s a choice between short term discomfort for long-term joy or long-term comfort for long-term dissatisfaction.
The choice is yours.
Mid-week musings on not embracing anxiety.
If you find yourself caught in the analysis paralysis of indecision it might be worth making a conscious effort to care-less.
Instead of allowing the thoughts to go on and on until breaking point, give yourself a deadline.
3 minutes, 3 hours or 3 days before you have to take action. Do it for at least a week and keep a dairy of the decisions you made and the outcome.
The ideal outcome would be that you find that whether you care or care-less things will still be alright which is a pretty good reason to stop being so afraid of making decisions.
You’ll have physical evidence that what you decide isn’t always the most important thing it’s how you feel and your attitude towards what you’ve decided.
And if you find you’ve picked something that didn’t result in the desired outcome , then it’ll be the perfect time to practice your bouncebackability.
At the end of trying out a different approach to decision making the beauty of it is, is that if it was just totally dreadful you can always go back to your old approach.
If that’s the the case at least you tried which is often more important than the actual result.
We’re constantly making decisions each day. Some are small scale like toast or cereal for breakfast, whilst others can have more of an impact.
It’s easy to go back and forth when you have multiple options and are intent on picking the ‘right one’.
But it’s often the act of picking that’s more important than what you actually pick.
If you struggle to make decisions, you don’t need to get better at being right, you need to work on being more decisive.
Short answer: there is no use.
If it doesn’t feel good to feel bad then why not try something else?
It’s easy to feel bad about yourself when things go wrong but ruminating on that feeling isn’t likely to help you improve and get better at whatever you’re working on.
Perhaps asking yourself ‘what could I have done better?’ might be more useful.
Then take whatever is on that list and give them a go one by one until you find something that helps you improve.
I have no doubt that will be much more useful than the previous approach.