What you want doesnt have to stay the same.
Sometimes when we’ve been set on something for so long, even after we realise we something else we stick with the old plan. This is because it feels risky to change and we put so much pressure on ourselves to have things worked out.
The result is sticking with something we no longer want in order to be someone who ‘has their life sorted out’, instead of actually doing what we want to do. Maybe we decide that it’ll take too much work and that it’s not worth the effort.
But dreams change and new dreams are worth pursuing just as much as the old ones.
It might seem that right now there is little that you can do but revert to your old ways. If you’ve learnt self observation then perhaps you’re used to your patterns of behaviour.
Perhaps you can clearly map out and identify your old ways. And if you can do that then you can also choose a different action. If you’d normally say yes, say no. If you’d normally offer patience maybe try being a little less considerate.
I think too often we fall into this rigid idea of self as though there is something wrong with consciously experimenting with who we are. For example, you could be someone who always listens to people vent despite the fact that it leaves you feeling drained because you think it makes you a good friend.
Instead you could try something different such as saying, ‘I know you’re going through this frustrating situation but I don’t have the space to listen to you vent at the moment.‘
And it always feels weird the first time simply because it’s new, not as an indication of it being the wrong thing to do.
Then, overtime you might find that you prefer your new way of doing things and you can put your old ways aside.
I think one of the biggest reasons people have for going back to the office is face to face communication.
There is this idea that instead of continuing to embrace and further develop what was created from having to work from home, we should regress back to the way things were.
But I think there’s something to be said about those that choose to embrace change and move forward.
Pre-pandemic wasn’t necessarily better it was just what we were used to. And right now as we move forward, we have the opportunity to consider what works well and embrace something new.
Lockdown allowed us to fantasise about the possibilities of life.
The way that things were was no longer seen as the way that things had to be.
The longer we were inside the more we began to speak of the new normal. We were able to imagine changes on scales small and large. I think this gave a lot of people hope, that this pandemic would not be for nothing if once it was over there would be change for the better.
But, somewhere along the way, there was a shift. Instead of speaking of the new way of life we had once hoped for, we began to long over the old ways.
Suddenly, it was the old normal that we were dreaming of, not something new.
At the beginning of this year I made some changes to this site.
I wanted to make it more visually appealing, I wanted to make it better.
And so I looked for inspiration, jotted down some ideas then got to work.
The end result was something very far from what I’d stuck with for the past 2 years. However, it was much closer to the look of a site I read fairly often.
I’d invested time into creating a header, logo and trawling through themes and customisation options so I stuck with it. I didn’t love the look of the site but I felt as though I’d spent too much time to go back to the old look.
After a while I grew to dislike the look of my site, I just couldn’t get used to it. Perhaps because the look I had chosen wasn’t really my idea.
And so I went back to the old look.
Sometimes going back to the way things were is exactly what you need.