With unlimited confidence…

That was the prompt in a self-help book I read around 6 or 7 years ago.

It was followed by questions like:

  • How would you behave?
  • How would your relationships change?
  • What would it allow you to do?

I think it’s a helpful set of words to get you thinking about how you might be limiting yourself.

As human beings we often fall into thinking that we have to wait until we’re confident to live our lives the way we want. But actually it’s the other way round.

You have to start living your life first and then the confidence will follow.

Welcoming normal

I think what many are craving is a sense of ‘normal’, the way things once were.

If you’re lucky, normal might have been just fine but it’s worth acknowledging that that’s not the case for everyone.

Of course the easy thing to do would be nothing and just let things go back to what they were, after all you don’t have any issues.

I think that’s the mindset that limits us and stops progress.

We’re so afraid that better for them means worse for us that we’re willing to let them suffer.

It might not be so explicit in your mind but if you take some time you might realise that’s the reason behind your mindset.

Pushing the boundary

Many people have an unspoken set of boundaries for what they do and don’t do or a set of rules that govern the choices they make.

And sometimes the boundaries that you give yourself become limitations.

Suddenly you find that you’re not doing the things that you want to do because your boundaries go against it.

However the thing about boundaries, though they have there benefits they can also be a hindrance.

The more you try to force yourself to adhere to them the harder you judge yourself when you stray.

But, it’s perfectly okay to move away from the person that you thought you’d be.