Last year I published a blog post titled ‘In search of community’. Over a year has passed so i thought I’d share a little update. This year I realised that I’m already part of a couple of communities, I just hadn’t been making enough time and space to show up and connect with the other people.
Looking back on that post is quite interesting, it’s a reminder that sometimes our perspectives are skewed. It’s helped me better understand the idea that sometimes we already have exactly what we’re seeking we just aren’t open to it.
You know the feeling you get when you read something that resonates. You feel seen, you feel heard and you feel connected, often to a complete stranger.
But this person was able to form something that encapsulates a feeling or a moment from your life. It can often serve as a reminder that we’re not so different or as separate from each other as we sometimes end up believing.
If you can be moved by words written 200 years ago then our problems, challenges and experiences aren’t so unique to us, there are plenty of other people that know what it’s like. In my teenage years I liked to beelive that somehow the author knew that I’d need to read their words, almost as if they wrote them just for me. Of course that wasn’t the case but it was a nice thought at the time.
I’ve held on to that idea but allowed it to evolve a little. As someone who writes and shares their words, I never write with a particular person in mind but I know that people are often drawn to read about things they can relate to.
I’ve read great words that have moved me and so I hope to do the same. I guess it’s sort of like taking one and passing it on.
‘I wrote this for you because of what they wrote for me.’
Most people that you choose to have in your life are chosen because your lives or you as people align in some way.
It could be a similar taste in music, studying (or have studied) the same subjects, enjoying the same leisure activities, similar mindsets and worldviews or maybe you share the same aspirations.
Whatever it may be, when the base of your connection shifts it is likely that you may change your mind about having the person in your life.
Granted you will have built up a connection based on other things over time but when the core bits of you and a person no longer align, the relationship may no longer make sense.
This sort of thing quite commonly occurs once you begin to really figure out who you are and what you want in life. Perhaps the people you used to party with don’t really fit with the life you’re creating. Maybe your corporate aspirations clash with the aspirations of people around you to the point of causing disagreements.
Despite how it may feel, it’s a natural thing for relationships to change. It’s much better to allow things to be than to restrict your development or the development of someone else because you’d rather hold on to something that was never meant to last.
If you find that your screen time is increasing and has gotten to a point of being much higher than you’d like, put your phone on airplane mode.
Sometimes it’s difficult to comprehend a world when we were much less connected because at any time someone can contact you on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, email, call, text or Whatsapp. That’s 7 different ways all from a single device and that can be overwhelming.
As much as it can have benefits, it’s also worth considering that you don’t always need to be so available. One could argue that you may miss something important but it’s highly unlikely.
The point is not to put your phone on airplane mode and be eternally unavailable. The idea is to turn it on when you’re not using your phone, that way when you randomly pick it up to mindlessly scroll you’ll end up just putting it down again as you’re not connected to the internet.
It’ll also make you aware of how often you reach for your phone for no real reason and after a short while you end up reaching for it less.
After reading an article about the effects of the pandemic in Nepal, I got thinking about how we are significantly more connected than we were 100 years ago and even 20 years ago.
We’re aware of what is happening in our own city, country and continent but also around the rest of the world too. We’re finding out things that maybe 50 years ago, we’d never have known about.
There are so many benefits to this increased connection.
Being more connected has changed the way we experience life. Physically travelling has become more and more accessible but we’re also more connected by technology (emails, internet and social media etc.). It’s this that allows you to know about what’s going on in Nepal even though it’s over 4000 miles away from where you live.