The inconvenience of a tennis ball

When something is on your mind and you choose not to say it, the result is often unideal.

Let’s think of the thing you choose to hold in as a tennis ball. If you say it, you can drop the ball but if you don’t say it, you have to carry the ball around with you.

At first, it doesn’t really bother you because a tennis ball isn’t particularly big and you can carry it in one hand with no issue.

But after a few hours, days or weeks it starts to become an inconvenience.

We sometimes kid ourselves that things don’t bother us but then a few weeks later it’s still on our mind, the tennis ball is still in your hand.

And like with the tennis ball concept, we end up telling ourselves that it doesn’t matter because it’s small or easy to carry. But if you apply this mentality, you’ll find yourself carrying several tennis balls.

The point is that you don’t have to.

When you allow yourself to hold on to lots of little things, they eventually become a great burden instead of a potentially short conversation that you can move on from.

Great in theory

The reality of some ideas, projects and plans is that they are only great in theory.

When some things get brought to life they crumble and fall.

Sometimes it’s because we get carried away by the excitement of something new that we overlook or under estimate the time, effort, commitment, dedication and hard work that it takes to bring something to life.

Having a daily blog might sound great in theory but if you haven’t considered that you’ll need to find time to write, have something to say each day, plan ahead etc. The you might not be pleased with the outcome.

If something is great in theory it either means it doesn’t need to be brought to life or you need to take care when you do. It might not always be easy but it’s possible to produce something great.

The concepts I promote

Go, go, go until you can go no more.

I reject the concept of working yourself to the bone as it’s hard to reap the rewards when you’re ill with fatigue and exhaustion.

But the concept of working hard to reach your goals and the concept of being committed are 2 things I’m happy to promote as they allow you to get the best out of life, in my opinion anyway.

And alongside those 2 things I promote fun and I truly believe that laughter and joy are almost all we really need to live a good life.

 

Petal picking and other ways to make decisions

You know that thing you do as kid or maybe just that thing in general of picking flower petals and saying ‘he loves me, he loves me not’. Or maybe flipping a coin or rolling dice and saying ‘if it lands on X then i’ll…’.

I recently started doing that again but with other things. With the coins on my window sill and the beads on my bracelet.

It may seem strange but there’s a method to the madness. I do it to work on becoming less indecisive. When you stop putting so much pressure on the decisions that you make it helps reduce anxiety but also teaches you that if you’re caught between 2 decisions it will be okay either way.

That sort of thing is what I call ‘Mind management’. It’s about understanding that you can make changes to the way your mind works if it isn’t benefiting you. When I first realised that a few years ago, it was pretty liberating.

The exchange principle

This concept was one I came up with around 5 years ago. It’s the idea that things have a way of balancing themselves out, with no effort.

For example, the thing that you put all your efforts into doesn’t work out but you don’t end up with nothing. It’s like the universe gives you exchange and you end up with something else instead.

The best part is, it’s often something better or something you hadn’t even considered.