And maybe all you need to do is take a deep breath and let go. You have the opportunity to take control of the way you want to feel even though you may not realise it.
It’s often only when you decide that you want something more or something different that you become aware of what is available to you.
Suddenly you find that ‘all of us are here, awaiting you’ and the love, support or kindness is almost overwhelming.
And I’m sharing these words as someone who has experienced them.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Just kidding because that phrase makes me want to roll my eyes.
But in all seriousness it’s easy to fall into doing the things you’ve always done and putting off exploring life outside of that.
So maybe if you don’t feel totally fulfilled with where you’re at, make a plan and do something.
It could be trying a new restaurant, going on a date, visiting a new city, putting yourself forward for training at work or doing something nice for someone you know.
And like that other common phrase goes, ‘it’s the little things that make a big difference.
When you settle for less in life it’s useful to have a getaway plan.
A ‘I’m pretty unhappy with where I’m at so if things get any worse here’s what I’ll do’ plan.
It’s not that you’re totally miserable, it’s that you don’t get much fulfillment from your current life.
Maybe you have a good stable job, close friends and a decent social life but something seems to be missing. You might be a functioning depressive who isn’t even aware of where you’re at mentally.
The getaway plan doesn’t have to be pack your bags and escape to Oz. It could be getting a new job, a breakup, moving cities or even starting a business.
For me the getaway plan involves taking steps towards my ‘dream life’. A home with a big tub, a bookshelf and fuchsias. A job that doesn’t feel like it’s sucking the life out of me and time to spend writing and creating.
When things aren’t going your way in life its easy to feel like things are out of control. Afterall if you had your way things would be going swimmingly, right. We often get caught up in thinking that life hates us, that we’ve been hard done by or that it’s only us that things are going through challenging things.
Sometimes we end up playing this victim role declaring how everyone treated you poorly, when perhaps you didn’t set boundaries or that nothing is going right, when you didn’t stop and access if the way you were doing things was the best action to take.
I’ve played the victim role in the past but these days I’ve shifted my perspective because I know that I play a big part in how my life plays out whether things are good or not.
Its much easier when you take responsibility because if I ‘messed things up’ then I can also fix things. But if it was someone else that caused all the bad stuff in my life then I’d probably grow to resent them and expect them to fix things.
I’ve seen the victim mentality in others and I do my best not to judge because I haven’t been through what they’ve been through and I once had that same mindset. But what I always try to do is remind people that they can change things themselves.
Once you become aware of something that’s the beginning of coming to realise that you don’t just have to allow things to happen in your life that you aren’t okay with.
Maybe that means finding a job that doesn’t drain you, spending time with people that treat you well, spending time with yourself, seeing a councillor/therapist or letting people know how they’ve made you feel.
Most importantly for me was reminding myself that I can’t control anything other than how I respond to things. If I want better in life, then I have to do better. It’s silly to be discontent with your life and think that it’s everything around you that needs to change.
It’s okay to admit that if you change certain things in your life you’ll be happier.
When you start with yourself you’ll notice that everything around you will start to change too.
Have you ever wanted to say something but not known how to put it into words so you ended up saying nothing.
Well I’m learning that in some cases you might as well say it because the alternative is harbouring frustration over words unspoken and that is something that never feels good.
It’s not about giving someone a piece of your mind it’s about being honest with yourself about how you feel and being okay with expressing that.
It’s okay to say ‘I know you may not have had bad intentions, but I don’t like it when you x, y, z.’
Saying that would be major for someone like me who usually takes the I ain’t gonna let nothing bother me stance whilst said thing is bothering me a whole lot.
So this hasn’t hasn’t happened before and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
For the first time since I started daily blogging I missed my 7.15am posting time. I thought I had something scheduled but it turns out I was wrong.
But maybe I’ll use this little slip up as a point of change, or not.
I like posting early and after over 40 days I’ve gotten too familiar with this posting time to switch it up. Granted nobody is eager and waiting at 7.14am for my post to go live and none of you readers will have even noticed but it matters to me.
Consistency is important.
So I’ll share more words tomorrow at 7.15am, promise.
Over the past month or so I’ve been thinking about how much time I spend on social media in comparison to how much I get out of it.
The end result was logging out of twitter and a week or so later I deleted the app from my phone. The only time I use it now is on my laptop at home a couple times a week and even then it’s only for about 10 minutes and I’m not mindlessly scrolling.
I’ve taken twitter breaks before but I got into the habit of using it so much and constantly checking it that I thought deleting the app would be really difficult.
I made a conscious effort to replace Twitter with something else which is really important when it comes to changing a habit. Shout out to the habit loop which I first learnt about when I read The power of habit by Charles Duhigg.
I’ve replaced twitter with writing which has been easy as cherry pie and has been incredibly helpful now that I’m a daily blogger.
I really thought it would be a challenging but it turns out deleting the twitter app was easier done than said.
Growing up, I used to be afraid or feel intimidated by people that were freely being themselves.
But now that feeling has turned to inspiration.
I’m inspired by George Clinton as a pioneer, performer, his ideas and song lyrics.
I’m inspired by Clintons’ creativity and that he isn’t afraid to stand out. Growing up it made me realise that the way i dressed and did my hair and makeup didn’t need to be approved of by anyone but myself.
Also, that it’s okay to be what other people consider ‘weird’.
The bit that is often rushed, least cared about and the most overlooked is the bit before the end.
I’m learning that adopting a sprinters mentality might be the way to go. To pace myself for the long haul but to always leave a surplus for the end. For when I’m tired and motivation is low.
So that I can finish as strong as I started.
It was towards the end of 2018 that I realised I was starting to miss the way I used to blog in 2012.
I missed the freedom that came from putting stuff out for me but also for you if you cared enough to read it.
But once I saw what blogging could become and started to try and get more involved in the blogging world things changed much more than I could have anticipated. I wanted to be a certain way but there was not enough room for the writer to express herself freely and suddenly too much importance was put on doing things the way they were supposed to be.
Blogging throughout the past few years was cool because I learnt a lot but I began to move further from my truth and closer to a version of what seemed acceptable or right.
So I created this as a way to strip things all the way back. Simple layout, no pictures, just words.