What do you mean, you don’t know?

I don’t know was one of my most used phrases during my school days.

It was an easy 3 words to use in situations where I didn’t want to participate, like class.

I’d sit daydreaming, ruminating or just quietly paying attention. Then all of a sudden a teacher would call on me for the answer to a question.

Perhaps I hadn’t heard it or maybe I didn’t want to think or join in because after all my hand wasn’t even up.

So, I’d almost immediately respond with I don’t know even if after some thought I might have had an answer to contribute.

I never wanted to offeranything because on the occasions that I did, my hand would be up.

And so when I used to say I don’t know it just meant that I didn’t want to offer, join in or engage.


This phase of my life was around 10 years ago at a time where I found it incredibly difficult to use my voice.

These days I’m more commonly heard saying I’m not sure and I’m much more willing to contribute something and be wrong instead of saying nothing at all.

If you find yourself using I don’t know as a regular response ask yourself why because you might find that it could actually be replaced with the phrases ‘I don’t want to think’.

And if you don’t want to think then you might be a lazy person or you might be scared of being wrong.

Either way there’s something to work.

What’s the use in feeling bad about yourself?

Short answer: there is no use.

If it doesn’t feel good to feel bad then why not try something else?

It’s easy to feel bad about yourself when things go wrong but ruminating on that feeling isn’t likely to help you improve and get better at whatever you’re working on.

Perhaps asking yourself ‘what could I have done better?’ might be more useful.

Then take whatever is on that list and give them a go one by one until you find something that helps you improve.

I have no doubt that will be much more useful than the previous approach.

Back and forth

For almost a week now, I’ve been going back and forth on something I need to say.

Should I do it over text or face to face?

Should I just say nothing?

Should I be honest or do I need to be brutally honest so they don’t misinterpret what I say?

Should I use NLP to help me come up with how to word things?

Do I need to explain in detail or just say the overall gist of what I’m thinking?

Am I being judgmental?

How is this person going to react?

Do they even care?

As I’m sure you can imagine I’ve had a lot on my mind and am still unsure of how to go about things. It has reminded me that I spend too much time ruminating and not enough time doing because I could have gotten this all over with a few days ago.

But at least I’ve learnt my lesson for next time (hopefully).