Generous projection

When we give to others generously and it isn’t received in the way we expected or would have preferred the first instinct might be to find fault in the receiver.

But often what is actually happening is we’re projecting. In many cases we give to others what we wish we had or could receive rather than assessing this persons needs as an individual.

Perhaps it’s in the form of constantly checking in or offering advice because you wished someone had checked in with you and gave you guidance.

But then the receiver might reject all the advice you give and not open up when you check in which could leave you frustrated.

You’ll find yourself wondering why this person isn’t grateful for your generosity, after all you didn’t have anyone do this for you.

It’s at that point that you might want to reflect on why this person might be responding the way they do.

If you really want to help someone ask them what they need rather than just putting yourself in there position.

There’s a thing in NLP about how we do things based on our own experience but when you offer to help someone else, it shouldn’t be about you.