Grace Jones is amazing.
She’s a creative pioneer who many famous people have been heavily influenced by, often unbeknownst to their fans (and sometimes even the people themselves).
She’s Jamaican which is where my family are from, and she’s been a model, singer and even an actress.
Grace has always had this distinctive masculine whilst still being feminine and I adore it. I admire Graces freedom and self-expression because those are things I want at the forefront of how I live my live.
‘Those who demand that you conform the most to how they live are the ones who are the most scared and intimidated by life’
Growing up, I used to be afraid or feel intimidated by people that were freely being themselves.
But now that feeling has turned to inspiration.
I’m inspired by George Clinton as a pioneer, performer, his ideas and song lyrics.
I’m inspired by Clintons’ creativity and that he isn’t afraid to stand out. Growing up it made me realise that the way i dressed and did my hair and makeup didn’t need to be approved of by anyone but myself.
Also, that it’s okay to be what other people consider ‘weird’.
It often begins with the phrase ‘I’ll be happy when…’.
I’ve done it a multitude of times. I’ve said it about grades, employment, relationships and even my weight. But I’ve come to find that when I finally get the things I’m seeking they don’t actually make me happier.
One east example is from a couple of years ago when I was unemployed and I felt like once I found a job I’d be so much happier. In the end I managed to get 2 part-time jobs yet they failed to bring the fulfillment that I had anticipated.
So then, I ended up busier than I had been before and I still had this great feeling of discontentment.
It’s quite challenging being around someone who seems to have a dark view of the world. It’s easy to get caught in their viewpoint because you feel almost guilty for having that pep in your step.
Debbies brother could be handsome, smart, kind and even make you laugh. But at the end of the day, it turns out he’s just like Debbie and there’s not much joy in the company of a downer.
The bit that is often rushed, least cared about and the most overlooked is the bit before the end.
I’m learning that adopting a sprinters mentality might be the way to go. To pace myself for the long haul but to always leave a surplus for the end. For when I’m tired and motivation is low.
So that I can finish as strong as I started.
In situations that don’t turn out how we’d have liked we often tell ourselves that if the roles were reversed we’d have handled things better.
When we’re observing or experiencing a persons response or reaction to something, we’re experiencing it second hand from a different perspective.
NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has a presupposition that says people do the best they can based on the the information they have and their past experiences.
It’s quite easy to become critical of how someone handles something when you feel that making a different choice would improve the outcome.
But what really happens when the roles are reversed.
Over the past 6 or so months I’ve experienced situations where I was now person A whose response to situations would have an impact on the other person, B.
Something I’ve learnt is that sometimes when you’re person A doing what feels ‘right’, honest or true to yourself is often not going to be aligned with the outcome person B would want. I’m learning that it’s important to be honest more than trying to be a good person or doing things based on putting yourself in control of how someone else will feel.
Even if you don’t get the chance to experience the flip-side of a situation that didn’t turn out how you wanted, looking at a situation from the other persons perspective is truly a useful exercise.
Something insignificant yet so significant is a conversation between strangers on the train.
It’s mood changing, not from happy to sad or vice versa. But it adds something to your day when you can casually chat to someone you don’t know and will perhaps never see again.
It’s a mutual thing too because despite having never met the person there’s a sense of knowing that you’re both willing to override social norms and just talk to each other.
Seeing other people work hard makes me want to work hard.
Seeing other people do well makes me want to do well.
But its not about competing, it’s about reminding myself that I too am capable.
And so are you.
You know there are these moments that occur every so often where you just gain total clarity.
The stuff that you thought mattered suddenly becomes irrelevant and you find answers to all your questions.
It’s like you just see yourself as you truly are, no judgement and everything becomes clear.
It was towards the end of 2018 that I realised I was starting to miss the way I used to blog in 2012.
I missed the freedom that came from putting stuff out for me but also for you if you cared enough to read it.
But once I saw what blogging could become and started to try and get more involved in the blogging world things changed much more than I could have anticipated. I wanted to be a certain way but there was not enough room for the writer to express herself freely and suddenly too much importance was put on doing things the way they were supposed to be.
Blogging throughout the past few years was cool because I learnt a lot but I began to move further from my truth and closer to a version of what seemed acceptable or right.
So I created this as a way to strip things all the way back. Simple layout, no pictures, just words.